The Spike: or, Victoria University College Review, June 1922

The Gentle Art of Note Writing. — An Open Letter to all Whom it may Concern

The Gentle Art of Note Writing.

An Open Letter to all Whom it may Concern.

Dear "Spike,"

Having after much painful experience acquired some knowledge upon the subject of Note Writing, may I crave a small measure of your space in which to impart my knowledge to the many office bearers of College Societies, whose business it is to carry on the ofiicial correspondence of their committees without, as a rule, any guide as to the many and various pitfalls supplied by that awful autocrat. Etiquette. For the sake of brevity I will tabulate such rules as I have discovered.

(1.) Even in these days of over pressure all notes of compliment, invitation, or thanks must be written by hand (legibly if possible) never typed. The paper used should be notepaper and the colour of both paper and envelope must match. (It is, of course, wise to be careful to stamp all such correspondence).
(2.) To begin a letter to a lady with the words "Miss Brown" "Dear Mam' elle," is the mark of ignorance so abysmal, that one fears for the writer's chance of graduating. The term in question is dialect German and means "house keeper." In English every official letter to a woman, be she sixteen or sixty, married or single, should begin "Mrs. or Miss Jones, Dear Madam."
(3.) Should it be our duty to address a letter to that most honourable gentleman, a baronet, it will please him besides proving our knowledge of good form if we address his envelope "Sir John Adams Bart" That much commoner fowl, the Knight, requires no addition.
(4.) In inviting one of our clerical friends to honour us with his presence at some function, it is again necessary to be precise—one must not save one's self trouble by writing; M The Minister of St. David's, the Manse, Perthstud," but. must get a directory and look up his surname and initials and write li The Rev. J. W. Roes, M.A.," or "The Rev. Dr. W. P. Brown, D.D.," as the case may be. For educational lights, the rule is the some. One has to remember that women as well as men do, with much trouble, attain to degrees, and are even proud of them. Therefore a wellknown headmistress must have her envelope inscribed' "Miss Mary Grant, M.A., or B.Sc., Principal of St. Mary's College,"—not briefly "The Headmistress, St. Mary's College." Even one's own Professors have a weakness for their proper initials, and the correct spelling of their surnames; as for the business, professional, and official world, they are the most touchy of mortals. If you want to offend them spell Mr. Smythe's name without the "e," and omit Mr. J. P. Brown's second initial.
(5.) Invitations to dances, etc., are always written in the third person, and no one need make a mistake, as it is easy to borrow an old one to copy. They must always be written unless a specially printed card is used, and should an answer be required, must bear the magic letters R.S.V.P., and on no account must they be spoilt by such a conclusion as this "Kindly answer to yours truly B. Brown, Hon. Sec."

Faithfully yours,

Hon. Sec.