Sport 12: Autumn 1994
I do not know
I do not know
after Jenny Holzer
I recognise thin white bones
stretching into darkness.
I tick the box marked M.
Words are the worry
that never grows old.
To look within myself
I turn on the light.
I consume space
because it corners me.
When I call on my heart
it rings like an excuse.
Too much force
keeps me alive
but secretly I am
afraid of spiders.
I mark my offspring
but I wish they would
talk to me.
At work I employ people
to laugh at my jokes.
I can easily ignore
the consequences
of what I implement.
I deliberately hold grudges:
they help me
meet the challenge.
Indecision collapses me.
If you question my methods
I shit in the woods.
Tonight I let you
change the channel
but I cannot be sure
page 120
if I still love you.
I take a drive.
Where I go is
none of your business
Time is my dog
sometimes we play stick.
I know goal attainment
does not make me happy.
I know death
does not make me unhappy.
I wash off reasonable doubt
in the shower.
Protect me from
what I want.
I do not know
if this is a poem.
I do not wish it
to be shared.