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Sport 37: Winter 2009

Prayer for the agnostic

page 134

Prayer for the agnostic

These days God seems
to me like an editor.
You send in your prayers
and they come back
altered.

I said I miss butterflies
then found a monarch
on the river gravel
too tattered to fly.

God grant me, is what my mother says
my father says Lord.
I say I wish and think, to not submit
but to be silent, and think
but your silence will not save you.

I am a confusing person.
I eat my words as the dog would
under Sirius, sitting,
then growling.

Sitting can be a room where the TV
waits. TV was once the domain name
for Tuvalu. TV is a door to
escape.

The bedroom is a room
that waits for sleep. Sleep
is a door that leads to dreams.

page 135

You can knock, or sleep
in the doorway. You can sleep
sitting, or lie down.
You can sleep walking.

Some nights, I can't sleep.
Some days, I'm tired and afraid.
Some days, I'm stooped. To stoop
is not the same as to kneel.
Stooping hurts the back
kneeling hurts the knees.

Each day the cold aches
my lover's knees. Each day
the frost over irises
helps me see.

When I rise each morning
I say to myself:

Give me
this day
my fair trade
coffee,
and water
please.

I am a thirsty woman.