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Sport 42: 2014

Memoir, with Electrodes

page 14

Memoir, with Electrodes

He admitted, under torture—
And they were very good
At torture—that he’d once seen
His father’s penis. Attentive to his own

Testicles, they paused. Oh yes? And
What was he doing to you
At the time? I was in the bath. Go on,
What disgusting thing happened

Next? Okay, he said. Deep breath.
In real life, his father walked
Out, having had a piss. Humming
From an opera, quite an elaborate

Hum. Quite a handsome penis,
He thought, even then. Not shocking.
Comforting. That was all, a kid
In a bath, learns something.

But this wasn’t real life.
He was being tortured. His prostate
Was animate. What next?
His imagination failed and he
Told the boring truth. Zap!

Then, as if the current carried memory
As well as pain, he remembered
Another thing: his mother’s breast.
A single breast, in profile. Was he a baby?

page 15

It was full—of milk meant for him?—pale, lightly
Blue-veined. I saw my mother’s breast, he told them.
Christ, you disgust us. What next with the cock and
Titties? He thought carefully. He tried to bring them

Together, this couple. He didn’t know
Where they were. Perhaps they were
Dead already, somewhere. They the begetters.
It was cold outside. It was getting dark. It was begetting

Dark. But a light went on, a morning light.
Two figures skating to school, across
The frozen milky lake. She was such a good
Skater, travelling low, at first

I thought she was a boy, his father said.
The cold, the heavy coat, your
Thick swinging arms, the hat with flaps,
The rough scarf wound and wound

Concealing your chubby red face. And
At home your mother, remember, cooking—
They flared, coming to the surface
Like little doughy submarines, spitting oil —

What were they, those things we used to eat?
Those things we used to love.
Those things we used to hate.