Opening Chorus.

Air—"Chorus of Men," from Mikado."

"If you want to know who we are."

What is this which here we see!
There is very soon going to be
At our University,
Chair of Ancient History.

For the liberal Government
On "humanity" intent,
Has set up a little band
Seeking history of the land;
Who presently will expound
How this little plot of ground,
Originally was found, Oh!

"The Government has decided to set up a Commission to collect information from the fast diminishing band of pioneer colonists as to the events which occurred in the early days. For this purpose the Colony will be divided into districts, each of which will be in charge of a sub commis sioner. Special attention is to be paid to old whalers and old miners. It is hoped that much reliable and interesting information will be obtained."

—News Item.

"My knowledge though I'm plucky and adventury,
Has only been brought down to the beginning of the rentury."

—Pirates of Penzance.

Antiquarian Research.

Air—"Prithee Pretty Maiden."—from "Patience."

Duet—Lady Commissioner and Sailor.

L.C.—
Prithee hoary sailor, silting on the strand,
(Hey, but he's salty! Billow, billow, baily!)
Were you of the party that first found this land,
Hey, billow, baily, O!
Tell me, O my hearty, were you of that party?
Hey, billow, baily, O!

page 26

"Did you hear him—did you hear him?
Don't go near him—don't go near him.
He is swearing—he is swearing!"

—H.M.S. Pinafore.

S.—
Split my bowsprit! yes mum, I was of that Crew;
(Hey, but I'm salty! Billow, billow, baily!)
Me and Cook wuz pals mum, just as thick as glue;
Hey, billow, baily, O!
You should see the gals mum, smiling at us pals mum,
Hey billow, baily, O!

"I offered gold
In sums untold
To all who'd contradict me."

—Princess Ida.

L.C.—
Prithee hoary sailor, will you please tell me,
(Hey but he's briny; billow, billow baily!)
Graphically and truly of that history!
Hey, billow, baily, O!
Kindly tell me duly, graphically and truly,
Hey, billow, baily, O!

S.—
Stow my mains'l! yes mum, you shall hear the lot.
(Hey, but its briny! Billow, billow, baily!)
I could spin a yarn mum, spin it by the knot.
Hey, billow, baily, O!
If the truth you'd larn, mum; listen to my yarn mum
Hey, billow, baily, O!

"Here followeth the entirely veracious, ingenuous and remarkable history of the discovery of these sometime fortunate islands."

Invitation a la Valse.

Tune—"Keep off the Grass."—front "Toreador."

If you wants to get on the land,
Get on the land,
You will find a welcomin' 'and
Upon the strand,
We are 'ungry warriors all,
Yes, every inch,
We 'ave room for one and all,
Yes, at a pinch.

Chorus of Men.
Kamate Hi! Ka ora He! Tenai te Hu!
Get on the land, get on the land,
You'll find a welcome most hearty,
'Twont be our fault
If you lack salt:
So come to our small dinner party.

"An accute accentuation of supremest ecstasy—which the earthy might easily mistake for indigestion." —Patience.

page 27

"When he's excited he uses language that would make your hair curl"

—Ruddigore.

Chorus.

Air—"The World went very well then."

Should you wish to learn of times remote,
Of the deeds men did who never wrote;
Of the deals they dealt and the smites they smote,
And the way the world went then.
Just get an elderly sailor-man
Who has hunted whales for a goodish span,
And ask him to tell—if tell he can—
How well the world went then.

For this man did the deeds, you know!
He struck the stroke and he dealt the blow,
He remembers it all—for he tells you so,
And the world went very well then.
He learned at a school of whales to spout,
Of the Maori rush and his horrid shout,
If he was not there he was there about,
And the whales went very well then.