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Non Cuivis Homini Contingit a Dure Corinthum.

Go to Coll

"To the World at Large."—By an Undergraduate.

Tune—" Go to Sea."

"The true embodiment of everything that's excellent." —Iolanthe.

Do you want to know the finest life that's ever to be had,
Go to Coll, my lads, go to Coll.
Do you want to live the life of a jolly undergrad,
Go to Coll, my lads, go to Coll.
Oh whether you take Arts or Mathematics,
Pol. Econ. Mental Sci. or Hydrostatics,
Or Jurisprudence, Law or Ancient Classics,
Philosophy that never makes you sad.
Go to Coll, Yes, go to Coll.

Then Yeo Ho, away to Coll we'll go,
And we'll make of you a jolly undergrad,
It's a life one ought to lead,
And improve by act and deed,
It's the best that's to be had.

"But yesterday I caught him in the dairy eating fresh butter with a tablespoon. To-day he is not well." —Patience.

If you want to know what fees to pay and whom to pay them to
Go to Powles, my lads, go to Powles.
If you want to keep your first terms and don't know what to do,
Go to Powles, my lads, go to Powles.
And if you want to be matriculated,
Have the rules of the Coll elaborated,
Your golden guineas all appropriated,
And while you wait receipts made out to you—
Go to Powles, Yes, go to Powles.

"Come now, tell the truth for once." —Princess Ida.

Then Yeo Ho, away to Powles we'll go.
And we'll make of you a jolly undergrad.
If you don't pay up in time,
He'll make you stand a fine,
It's a thing to do he's glad.

If you want to write good Latin Prose and do not know the way,
Go to John, my lads, go to John.
If you want to talk in ancient Greek the livelong night and day.
Go to John, my lads, go to John.
Of classic puns (?) you want an explanation,

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On Cæsar's Gallic War a dissertation,
Concerning Cicero a peroration,
Or be the hero in a Grecian Play,
Go to John, Yes, go to John.

"Your lordly style we'll quickly quench." —Iolanthe.

Then Yeo Ho, away to John we'll go,
And we'll make of you a chronic classic swot,
If you don't attend in class,
You can never get a pass,
It's a little way he's got.

"Ah, sly dog! ah, sly dog!" —Trial By Jury.

If to a famous foreign Count you want to be made known,
Go to Von, my lads, go to Von.
And to learn ten thousand languages without a sigh or groan,
Go to Von, my lads, go to Von.
If you want to make linguistic troubles vanish,
And learn the art of holding forth in Spanish,
In Russian, Turkish, Portuguese or Danish,
Of gabbling like a German graphaphone,
Go to Von. Yes, go to Von.

Then Yeo Ho, away to Von we'll go,
And he'll ask you whether "Francais parlez vous,"
If he "parlez" you too much,
Just answer back in Dutch,
And finish in Hindoo.

"Be reassured nor fear his anger blind.
His menaces are idle as the wind."

—Princess Ida.

If you want to hear a Scotchman's jokes (impossible you say),
Go to Hugh, my lads, go to Hugh.
And hear about St. Andrews where students never pay,
Go to Hugh, my lads, go to Hugh.
And if you want a genial Professor,
Of noisy undergrads a stern suppressor,
To Bobby Burns an adequate successor,
A prince of profs. whom all pronounce O.K.,
Go to Hugh, Yes, go to Hugh.

Then Yeo Ho, away to Hugh we'll go,
And we'll number you in brave Mackenzie's clan,
If his lectures are not clear,
Write twelve essays every year,
And you'll pass your term's exam.

If you want to hear Professor Richmond laying down the Law,
Go to Coll. my lads, go to Coll.
Or Profs. Easterfield and Kirk for the lab demanding more
Go to Coll, my lads, go to Coll.
Hear "Gray's Elegy" on English Education,

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And "Salmond" swot for your examination,
See Hunter analysing Sight Sensation.
Maclaurin proving 2 and 2 are 4,
Go to Coll, Yes, go to Coll.

"Little will be left of me,
In the coming by and by."

—Patience.

Then Yeo Ho away to Coll we'll go,
And we'll make of you a jolly undergrad,
It's the best life one can get,
And it's one you'll ne'er regret,
It's the best that's to be had.