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Victoria College Students' Carnival. Thursday and Friday, 27th and 28th June, 1907

The Lay of the Brazen Hide

page 22

The Lay of the Brazen Hide.

"Alike to no such aureate earth are turned,
As buried once Men want dug up again."

Omar Khayyan.

Air—"Legende de la Mère Angot," from "La Fille de la Mère Angot."

Solo
A centre of perfections,
A cow of matchless grace;
Men came from all directions
To gaze upon her face.
Beside her dwelt some rabbits,
Unseemly in their greed;
Of vegetarian habits,
They bolted all her feed.

Chorus (Bis.)
Ne'er complaining, nought containing, that poor
bovine chewed her cud,
Death ensuing, stopped her mooing, nipped her
suffering in the bud.

The obsequies were hurried,
Though not through lack of time;
At midnight was she buried
With honour and with lime.
But fame will e'er survive us,
And spite of all their toil,
Came Sherlock redivivus,
By Jimmy Conan Doyle.

Chorus (Bis.)
On the morrow, to their sorrow, up before the beak
arraigned
Him they sent O, Prof. Memento Xmori was the
man retained.

I quoted Maine and Salmond
On buried cats and dogs;
(And Kirk, when cross-examined,
Declared he'd missed some frogs).
With feeling I defended,
With fervour did I speak,
And by the time I'd ended,
Great tears rolled down the beak.

Wallace and Gibson, "The Kash," for Hats and Hosiery.

page 23

Smoke "Cameo" Cigarettes, the Best.

Chorus (Bis.)
Straight convicted, fine inflicted, justice would not
be denied,
On the ground that it was found that there had
been a brazen hide.

Her tale I have recounted,
Her hide adorns my floor,
Her head is stuffed and mounted
Above my big front door
When friends declare such honour
As somewhat out of place,
I gaze with pride upon her,
And say "My only case."

Chorus (Bis.)
If you need a smooth-tongued pleader, farmyards are
his specialty,
And he's now a legal flower, K.C. first emergency.

Chorus.
Air"No possible doubt whatever" from "The Gondoliers." —(Sullivan.)
Worshippers came to this holy place,
Their feelings I need not utter,
For the highly tubercular bovine race—
For here was a clearly moribund case;
No more could they seek this shrine of grace
And extract the milk and butter.

A taste for milk in time of drought
Might stiffen 'em out for ever.
Of that there can be no possible doubt,
No Brookable, shookable shadow of doubt,
No Brookable doubt whatever.

They took her darkly at dead of night,
Their lantern dim a-flutter,
And they placed her discreetly out of sight
In the holy ground (which was scarcely right),
And sadly they thought in the pale moon light
Of the vanished milk and butter.

A pile of earth well strewn about
Might cover a cow for ever.
Of that there can be no shadow of doubt,
Rebuttable, shuttable shadow of doubt,
Rebuttable doubt whatever.

But the goddess turned in her narrow bed;
This protest seemed to utter,
"If you leave it to Xmori," so she said,
"He'll send me to sleep with the peaceful dead."
And that was the truth—for she laid her head
And dreams now of milk and butter.

So out of date and rather stout,
An idol done for ever,
And saved from any shifting about,
All Xmorible, horrible shifting about,
All shifting about whatever.

Wallace and Gibson, "The Kash," for Hats and Hosiery.

page 24

Smoke "Lucy Hinton" Tobacco.