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Victoria College Students' Carnival. Thursday and Friday, 27th and 28th June, 1907

The Turn of the Tied

The Turn of the Tied.

Air—"Mother laid the carpet on the stairs."

Solo
O my name is Bridget Dooley, domestic duties, Murphy Street,
As a goddess of the kitchen you will find me hard to beat;
I used to work so long and hard I scarce had time to eat,
Or snatch a dainty morsel on the stairs.

Chorus.
But that was ere von Zedlitz raised his voice in accents warm,
Faith! Von would look a darling in a policeman's uniform,
And he's a real live baron, and it took our hearts by storm
When the Baron sang our praises from the chair.

When I used to ask more wages or time cut off a slice,
They used to frown and say that I was paid full market price;
But now they go to market and will make a sacrifice
When Bridget leaves the dinner on the stairs.

Chorus.
First one of them will come and kneel before the kitchen shrine,
And one will bring a chicken and one will bring port wine,
And one will offer shorter hours and one an increase fine,
And Bridget plays the goddess on the stairs

For now the girls would rather choose a factory or a shop
Than learn domestic duties which don't know when to stop.
They wear the latest fashions, and they'd almost make you drop
The dinner if you saw them on the stairs.

'Tis not in mortals to command success.

But he comes nearest who knows how to dress.

page 26

Smoke "Cameo" Cigarettes, the Best.

Chorus.
And now they've left the coast quite clear, we ask what
we've a mind—
A Sunday or a holiday, a rest when we're inclined,
A latch-key and a follower, each rule which unions bind,
When Bridget meets the mistress on the stairs.

The union makes the rules for us, but it's very hard to say
If cast-iron rules can rule a house like folk who meet half-way;
But limitation of supply is sure to win the day,
And Bridget stay the goddess of the stairs.

Chorus.
So bring your incense, shout "Home Rule," and offer to the shade
Of the winner of the trick, be she mistress or the maid,
Who does her work, or pays the price, and lets old grudges fade,
And plays the household goddess on the square.