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Victoria College Students' Carnival. Thursday and Saturday - 25th & 27th June 1908

Act III.—Wellington

Act III.—Wellington.

Opening Chorus of Students.

Have you seen our Professorial horde ?
Their manners you can ne'er forget them.
Those who form the Professorial Board
Would talk all night if students let them.
Most of them are Scotchmen—Scotch imported Profs.
With accents thick as London's fog.
Teach ? They teach us nought.
How can we be taught
By a Prof. who speaks a foreign tongue
Whose lectures weighty are as long ?
"Not Understood" should be their motto,
They always make their lectures so.

But spite their eccentricity,
Loquacity,
Rusticity,
In the search for truth and liberty,
Our Profs. are ever to the fore.
Our knowledge gained and trophies won,
Our tasks achieved, our labour done,
In all our ventures, ev'ry one,
They aid and urge us ever on.

Brown or Gray, whate'er their colour be,
They lecture till they make us sicken,
Lectures write they wondrous easily,
From books they've read they take the Picken.
While the Prof. Board chairman bores the English class,
His farmyard knowledge is profound.
Easterfield and Kirk's
Scientific work
Makes its perfume noticed all around,
Makes its perfume noticed all around;
And if you go to Justin's lectures,
You'll hear the students softly snore.

But spite their eccentricity, &c.

We have two new Scottish importations,
Both unfathomed to the present,
One can use no means of education
But the Kindergarten lesson.
Another new Professor—Hunter of renown,
With dignity and screw increased.
So hard-worked are they
That they said one day
Why not strike against our present lot
Like miners on the Coast ? Why not ? Why not ?
So Von tossed up his famous penny,
And now the Profs. have ceased to toil.

But spite their eccentricity, &c.

For Men's Sweaters at 5s 6d, 6s 6d each, Try James Smith and Sons, The New House.

page 25

You will find "Lucy" all right.

Chorus of Professors.

We're a badly treated body of professors;
The pay we get is really a disgrace
Though at lecturing perhaps we may be messers,
They need not tell us so before our face.
Our hours are long and ought to be adjusted,
For at ten we get away but not before,
And in fact we're so annoyed and so disgusted
We've really had enough and we will work no more.
But we've found a remedy for this disgraceful state of things,
For we have gone on strike and we will work no more.

The holidays we get should be much longer,
We only get six months in all the year;
For our lectures our voices should be stronger,
And gramophones should be provided here,
Our dignity is greatly underrated.
The students' insults hurt us to the core,
And the Council are so very antiquated
They've given us the spike and we will work no more.
But we have found, &c.

The students after little agitation
Obtained a social building of their own,
But the professorial need for recreation
This seems to be a thing as yet unknown,
We asked them most politely and discreetly
To provide for us a billiard saloon.
But North harangued the Council so completely
They lost their heads and so we struck this afternoon.
But we've found, &c.

Chorus.

Chorus of Profs.: We have heard your learned speech,
How you earnestly beseech
That we now return to work,
And our tasks no longer shirk.
For your system is so sound,
It completely brought us round;
So that now you may presume
That our lectures we'll resume,
That our lectures we'll resume.
Tarantara (as in Pirates).

Watt-Buncombe : Travel Eastward, travel westward,
Ever have I travelled onward,
Searching lands to North and Southward,
For a perfect social scheme.
Found I here this man of wisdom,
Glad am I I have not missed him,

For Men's Pyjamas at 6s 11d, 7s 11d, 10s 6d, Try James Smith and Sons, The New House.

page 26

Smoke "Lucy Hinton" Tobacco.

With his splendid social system,
Fitting ev'ry perfect state.

Students: 'Tis a splendid social system,
Fitting ev'ry perfect state.

Chorus of Profs. : Yes, to us it's evident,
That by Providence was sent
Such an educated man
To present his social plan.
So to work we'll now return,
Teaching students how to learn,
For to us it's evident
That by Providence he's sent.
Tarantara (as in Pirates).

Watt-Buncombe : Go and use your best endeavour,
Go to labour on for ever,
Show them that you're really clever,
Go ye back to lectures now.

Students: Go ye back to lectures now.
Go and use your best endeavour,
Go to labour on for ever,
Show them that you're really clever,
Go ye back to lectures now.

Chorus of Profs. : Oh ! we lived a dismal life,
Full of bickering and strife,
For we really were ill-used,
And we ought to be excused.
For with spirits getting low,
To no Phin Leigh could we go;
So like miners out of luck,
With alacrity we struck.
Yes, like miners out of luck,
With alacrity we struck.
Out of luck,
So we struck.
Out of luck,
Ah ! yes, we struck.

Watt-Buncombe : Go and use your best endeavour,
Go and labour on for ever,
Show them that you're really clever,
Go ye back to lectures now.

Go and use your best endeavour,
Go and labour on for ever,
Show them that you're really clever,
Go ye back to lectures now.

Go Professors, go ye back to lectures now.
Go Professors, go ye back to lectures now,
Go to labour on for ever.
Show them that you're really clever,
Go ye back to lectures now.

Students: Go Professors,
Go to lectures,
Go ye, go ye
To your lectures.

For Men's Hard Felt Hats at 7s 6d, 10s 6d each, Try James Smith and Sons, The New House.

page 27

You will find "Lucy" all right.

Go and use your best endeavour,
Go to labour on for ever,
Show them that you're really clever,
Go ye back to lectures now.

Go Professors, go ye back to lectures now.
Go Professors, go ye back to lectures now.
Go to labour on for ever,
Show them that you're really clever,
Go ye back to lectures now.

Chorus of Profs.: We have heard your learned speech, tarantara, tarantara
How you earnestly beseech, tarantara,
That we now return to work, tarantara, tarantara,
And our tasks no longer shirk, tarantara.
For your system is so sound, tarantara, tarantara,
It completely brought us round, tarantara,
So that now you may presume.
That our lectures we'll resume,
That our lectures we'll resume, tarantara.

Profs. : Tarantara, tarantara, &c,
Tarantara, ra, ra, ra, &c.

Phin Leigh : Return to work!
Profs. : Yes, yes, we go!
Phin Leigh : No longer shirk!
Profs. : Tarantara.
Phin Leigh : Then do not stay.
Profs : Tarantara.
Phin Leigh : Then why this delay ?
Profs. : All right we go.
Watt-Buncombe: To lectures now they go !
Students: To lectures now they go !
Profs.: To lectures now we go, to lectures now we go.
Phin Leigh : Yes, but you don't go!
Watt-Buncombe : To work they go, to lectures now they go !
Students: To work they go, to lectures now they go!
Profs. : To work we go, to lectures now we go, to lectures now we go!
Phin Leigh : Yes, but you don't go!
Watt Buncombe : At last they go, at last they go, at last they go ! to lectures now they go.
Phin Leigh : At last they go, at last they go, to lectures now they really go.
Students: At last they go, at last they go, at last they go, to lectures now they really go.
Profs.: We go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go.

Chorus.

Sons and daughters of Zealandia,
Know ye aught that could be grander,
Than the labour for Zealandia
By the pioneer ?

For Men's Shirts and Ties, Try James Smith and Sons, The New House.

page 28

Smoke "Cameo" Cigarettes, the Best.

By his toil midst tribulations,
Help'd he later generations
Make a name amongst the nations
For Zealandia here.
How can we reward him ?
Only can we laud him.
Whoso heeds his noble deeds,
Will ever praise accord him,
'Tis the sturdy pioneer,
Made us here, a people freer;
Praise the noble pioneer,
Proud Zealandia.

In these heroes' footsteps glorious,
Have we leaders ruling o'er us,
Over ev'ry strife victorious,
Worthy of our praise.
Worthy of our adoration,
Is the statesman's high vocation,
Guiding people of the nation
Through the social maze.
Thanks to those who lead us,
Ev'ry state will heed us.
Love of gold will never hold
The minds of who succeed us.
Art and Wisdom be arrayed here,
Peace and Freedom ne'er will fade here,
We shall found a true Arcadia.
Proud Zealandia.

Just one stave more and the song is done,
A stave for the olden time;
One age has passed, and the age to come
Is the age of the golden prime !
So praise we men who have passed away,
Who hold to a legend bold;
Whatever a sordid world may say,
Wisdom is more than gold.

Chorus.
So when we are singing of College,
Singing the songs of old,
Think of the past,
Hold to the last,
That it's wisdom that's more than gold !

For this is the burden of the world,
Which it speaketh day by day
Though many a worldly lip be curled
With a sheer that it does not pay :
In our ears is the voice of a Mammon age,
In our hearts is a tale that's old,
The tale of our garnered heritage—
The wisdom that's more than gold !