Song, Captain, Lieutenants, and Crew.

(Air: "When I was a Lad." — "H.M.S. Pinafore.")

Capt. and Lieuts.: When the ship's in port and we're all on show,
When the side-drums rattle and the bugles blow,
With our medals well polished and our swords tied on,
And a good solid quarter-deck to stand upon,
A diligent endeavour to create a stir
Is the proper occupation of an officer.
All: A diligent endeavour to create a stir
Is the proper occupation of an officer.

Capt. and Lieuts.: But out on the deep when the hurricanes blow,
It's time for an officer to go below.
When the ship's a-rolling and our appetite gone,
And we've nothing but our dignity to stand upon,
On all such occasions we would much prefer
To change the occupation of an officer.
All: On all such occasions they would much prefer
To change the occupation of an officer.