Opening Chorus.

With our activities, no doubt you're all acquainted;
Here you see us powdered, patched, and frilled and painted.
If we appear to you to be too numerous,
By reason of our virtue you should humour us.
For our virtue and our diligence we've been appointed,
And with your blessings wish to be anointed.
Though you regard our maintenance as reck-er-less expense,
With our services the master could not possibly dispense:
'T would be useless to deny,
That so pleasing to the eye,
We could help but give the utmost satisfaction.
So our identity no longer we'll conceal from you,
In our true colours we appeal to you:

Chorus.
We are Mr. Coax's very, very personal staff . . .
Not half!
Don't laugh!
Though the nature of our work has made us cynical,
Of success we have attained the very pinnacle:
And thus perched upon the steeple,
We conceal from all the people
Our master's very complete dependence on his staff.
On his sta-aff.
They say that our increasing numbers are appalling you,
But think of all the evil names that he'd be calling you,
If, deprived of our assistance, he could offer no resistance
To each caller with a grievance.
With a grievance.
In common with the Press Association
We enjoy his confidence and approbation;
And released from our seclusion,
We impart you our conclusion
That his glamour is a delusion
To each caller with a grievance.
With a grie-vance.

page 30

We'd like to make it clear about our pedigree,
We're drawn from families of very high degree.
My father was the umpteenth Earl of La-di-dah,
And I'm his only precious daughter Denderah,
A deal in candied fruit endowed our family cellar—
An uncle's cruel jest that I was called Prunella.
But when social duties pall,
(Oh, the boredom of a Ball!)
It amuses us to serve in an emporium.
With the grace and animation of an Ariel,
We go about our duties secretarial: