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Carry on Phil [1960]

[Act 1. Scene 1. Introduction]

We find ourselves at the opening day of the Kuri Puku A. & P. Association Annual Show. Wal and Mabel are present to conduct the official opening ceremony. During this solemn and majestic moment, a decrepit and seedy figure appears—it is our hero, Phil the Footballer returned from his fantastic successes and triumphs as a star wing-three-quarter. It is unfortunate, but at this time all the oil companies are flat broke, and none of them are able, as is the custom with star footballers of any notoriety, at all to offer him a lucrative position as either a salesman or a filling station proprietor. He is absolutely stoney, but after hearing Wal's speech about equal pay for less work, and having to build up the country's overseas funds, Phil is convinced that there is definitely an opening for him—he will organise professional football. He breaks into Wal's stirring and patriotic speech to tell the people of Kuri Puku his wonderful idea. There is great joy and celebration as Phil tells his great idea.