(Applause)

Omay

(Rising) Ladies and Gentlemen, unaccustomed as I am....

(Enter First Messenger bearing message from Adam. He delivers message and Exits)

Mess-Tin

(Rising sharply and interrupting. He reads) A message from Adam Baba. "Everything in the Garden Is Lovely. Adam."

Omay

Ladies and Gentlemen, unaccustonied as I am.......

(Enter Second Messenger bearing another message Exits)

Mess-Tin

Another message; "No Garden: Party at [unclear: Pate]. It is Still Raining in Taranaki. Adam"

Omar

Ladies and Gentlemen, unaccustomed as I am .....

(Enter First Messenger)

Mess-Tin

Another message "Just Opened Queen Carnival in King Country. The Leader."

(All salute)

Omay

Ladies and Gentlemen, unaccustomed as I am ......

(Enter Second Messenger bearing further message.)

Mess-Tin

(Reading) "Have Signed up 50 New Members Young Fascionalist Party at Stratford Baby Show, Expect More any time. Adam".

page 7 Omay

Ladies and Gentlemen, now that I am accustomed to public speaking, I wish to state taat at long last our party has formulated a policy that I am sure will meet with your approval - your approval, ladies and gentlemen, which is, I know, not given lightly. Therefore a sane programme formulated by sane economists like Adam Baba and ah - hm - myself cannot but appeal to citizens of such a worthy intalligence. We have bought the best assistance that the country can offer. With the aid of the Press (Indicates barrel) we shall produce Leagues, leagues in which lies the salvation of the country and the protection of capital and vested interests.

(Omay then proceeds to produce leagues by waving newspaper over barrel. This is done to the tune of "The Music Goes Round and Round".)

Omay

I wave my paper so
And around the Presses go.

Crowd

Round and Round - round and round
And the Leagues appear.
He waves the magic spread
And the presses throb ahead
Oh-oh-oh---oh-oh-oh
And the next is here.

Omay

I get into my stride
Wave the Daily Muck Rake right
Above below below below
Watch the little puppets dance.

Crowd

He waves the Daily Rag
And he's got it in the bag
Oh-oh-oh---oh-oh-oh
And the Leagues are out!

(As the music concludes Half a league emerges from the barrel in shirt tails. The leagues stand three on each side of the barrel and display their notices to the audience; Gravy League, Smellfare League, fleedom League Unconstitutional League, Offence League and Half a League. Omay bows to the crowd and clasps hands above head.

Crowd applauds enthusiastically

Omay

Now all we have to do is to hand over the administration of the country to the leagues (Cheers)

1St Cit

Then we don't need guaranteed vices?

Omay

No!

2Nd Cit

Then we won't need to spend money on Education?

Omay

No!

3rd Cit

Then we won't need the South Island Main Trunk?

Omay

No!

4th Cit

Then we won't need state housing?

Omay

No!

1st Cit

Then we won't need to have Unions?

page 8 Omay

No!

2nd Cit

Then we won't need any leagues.

Omay

No!

Leagues & Fascionalists

(Quickly) Yes!!

Crowd

(Playfully) Oh no we won't!

Omay

Oh, yes we will!

Crowd

Oh, no we won't!

Omay

Oh yes we will!

Crowd

(Laughing uproariously) Of course we will.

Omay

Of course it must be emphasised that these Leagues have no political significance, whatsoever.

Spreadwell

Oh no!!

Mess-Tin

Oh no!!

Crowd

Indubitably no!

Omay

Of course it must be emphasised that these leagues have no party ties whatsoever! (During this speech Liberty enters from opposite side (left of course) and stands scornfully down stage)

Mess-Tin

Oh no!

Spreadwell

Oh no!

Crowd

Incontrovertibly no!!

Omay

But believing as they do, in the principles of sound Government, they will, of course, support the Fascionalist Party at the next election.

Spreadwell

Indubitably

Mess-Tin

Incontrovertibly

Crowd

Instinctively!!

Liberty

You fools! You poor misguided fools! (The Fascionalists produce these Leagues, these puppets of the Press that promise great things - freedom, security, happiness, But whose freedom? whose security? whose happiness? It is freedom for the Landlords. It is security for the vested interests and Happiness for the few. You've let yourselves be fooled by outward show. In a little while you will learn just what is behind these leagues. (Produces revolver and menaces Leagues ) Turn round! (Leagues turn round, displaying swastikas on backs Crowd starts back, angry murmur commencess)

1st Cit

Down with them

2nd Cit

Down with them

3rd Cit

Down with them

(They seize leagues)

page 9 1st Cit

What shall we do with them?

2nd Cit

Boil them in oil - Taranaki Super Plume.

3rd Cit

And what shall we do with the Fascionalists?

2nd Cit

Boil them in oil.

1st Cit

There's not enough oil In Taranaki for that.

3rd Cit

Very well, we'll take control of the Press and without that the Fascionalists cannot form Leagues and are helpless.

2nd Cit

And then we'll cast them forth into the Political Wilderness.

(Liberty loads Leagues & Fascionalists back stage covering them with revolver. Crowd bursts into song.

"Drive All Your Leagues etc."