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Experiment 11

Today's Umbrage

page 200

Today's Umbrage

One day at Forum a new face strolled across the crushed grass; put his snuffbox away; - and mounted his collapsible box.

"Mates!" he said, "I have become aware of a, tension; the tension in our body, and our soul." And here he paused to lite a cigar of old horseflesh and rags, like the skunk he was.

"...And those who still suffer from having been passed over for spiritual drainage."

"These people must be cured, be ignored, or be crushed. For our life, that best and only life - ahem - depends on it. They drain the life, the soul, from our figure."

"Have we scared the mass today? Have we slaked our holy thirst with the blood of the politicians?"

Here he paused again to pass on the information that knighthoods were up three points, and abbreviations (he refused to say how many letters, on the grounds that the Press might be listening) £3 down on last year's prices.

page 210

"We have done nothing for days, for years, but buy easyeasy chairs for the constipated and build imitation boardrooms."

"Not that we must burn - too unoriginal."

"Not that we must rape" - and here he squashed the sniggers with a swift bidigital gesture.

"These are the weak motions of old and tired worlds."

At this point he put his foot through his box with a declamatory stamp, and paused to pull another from his pocket

"There is no point fighting the police. We must join them. Think what 1000 intelligent policemen could do!"

"The highest points of political life must be infiltrated. Here our abundance of beautiful and bright womanhood will be the answer . On Britannia!"

At this stage the Gnomes came to blows, and the gentleman was accidentally spiked on his brolly. He died an hour later in the Quiet Room, and was given last rites (washing the feet) by the Coptic Chaplain.

A charity debate was held for him, and 3 neuters and a dog threw themselves under the Aramoana.

So we may look back on this little known figure as perhaps a pointer to the future. We, of course, gained our $20,000 a year; our privilege of non-arrest thru normal channels. However some may not like this state of life. We must proceed to Greater Weartherly Beyond the Bye.