The New Zealand Railways Magazine, Volume 10, Issue 10 (January 1, 1936)
Wit And Humour
Wit And Humour
Seeing the Sights.
An American visitor was standing on the platform of a station when the “Flying Scotsman” rushed through. “Do you call that an express?” he asked a porter who was standing near by. “Bless your life, no!” exclaimed the porter, “that's Bill doin' a bit o' shunting; he'll be back in a minute.”
……….
The Air We Breathe.
Teacher: “Every day we breathe oxygen. What do we breathe at night Willie?”
Willie: “Nitrogen.”
…….
The Other Partner.
A weary knight of the road had stopped at the sign of the “George and Dragon” and had asked the landlady for a bite to eat and mayhaps an old pair of pants.
She (testily, etc.): “No, I haven't anything for the likes of you and I don't want to see you around here again. Well, be off with you! What do you want now?”
Tramp (meekly): “Well, then, Mam, could I speak to George?”
………….
The History Lesson.
Teacher: “Who can tell me what the former ruler of Russia was called?”
Class (in unison): “Tsar.”
Teacher: “Correct; and what was his wife called?”
Class: “Tsarina.”
Teacher: “What were the Tsar's children called?”
There was a pause, and then a timid voice in the rear piped up: “Tsardines!”
…..
Humour—Maybe.
“Mac, would you like a little of something Scotch—the real thing?”
“Well; now—I never—”
“Of course you will. Annie, just bring out that pot of Dundee marmalade.”
……….
The Tougher the Better.
Diner: “Do you serve crabs here?”
Waiter: “We serve anyone; sit down.”
He's So Bright, Too.
Visitor: “Your son is rather small for his age, isn't he?”
Proud Mother: “Oh, no; most boys of his age are overgrown, I think.”
………….