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The New Zealand Railways Magazine, Volume 11, Issue 11 (February 1, 1937)

A Protest From the Pram

A Protest From the Pram.

“And while I'm in the headlines let us get this name business straight. I'm wise to you parents with your pansy monikers and fancy baptismal frills. So get this! No Percy names for me! No Marmadukes or Mont-morencys or Plantaganets or Rudolphs. Life is going to be hard enough with a couple of dumbells to rear, without having a can of nominal improprieties tied to me. I refuse to carry a load of ancestral tradition in my Christian names. Christian is right! Do you call it Christian to penalise a poor puling innocent with such pseudonymous slanders, such phony prefixes, as Cuthbert Adolphus Sebastian, or even Basil Megaphus Rufus, just because they have been in the family for centuries like inherited flat-feet and warts? Plain Bill will do me; I'll probably be called Dough-face or Fish-eye, anyway.”