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Typo: A Monthly Newspaper and Literary Review, Volume 5
[neat mixed metaphor]
A neat mixed metaphor is perpetrated by a contemporary that writes of the « little knot of members forming the nucleus and backbone of the party. » —The Wanganui Herald has got off a good joke, which is none the worse for being at its own expense. In its issue of New Year's eve, it led off its column of « Notes and Comments » in this fashion: « Bright prospects of prosperity for Wanganui. There will be no issue of the Herald to-morrow. » —The Northern Luminary has a column of « Flashes. » This is one of them: « The London dock owners have discharged all the hands who have been employed by them less than a decayed. » —The Mataura Ensign notes an instance of regular school attendance which probably breaks the record. It says: « A pupil at Stirling has not been absent for even a single half-day since she first entered the school on the 30th January, 1383—a period of seven years and 11 months. » There is apparently an error in the calculation.—The Woodville comp has once again distinguished himself. « Three Polish widows, » he says, « asked permission of the Australian Government to raise a volunteer Amazon corps for the army. They showed their skill in military manœuvres, and their ability to handle arms; but the minister and the Emperor are opposed to female soldiers. » Perhaps this will be the outcome of Federation after all: an emperor and an army, after the model of The Effete Despotisms of Europe.—The Wellington Press, in an item referring to a serious matter, made a ludicrous slip. It reported that a certain ship « was in company with the Dunedin off Cape Horn, and a heavy girl springing up, the vessels separated, and the Dunedin has not since been seen. » !Cherchez la femme! — « Codlin's the Friend not short, » in a North Island contemporary, is a curiosity in quotations not to be found in the Old Curiosity Shop.—A Wairarapa luminary has been attempting biography, with striking results. Mr Ward, M.H.R., it states, is « a young New-Zealander, born at Emerald Hill, Victoria, » who « commenced life in boyhood. » We do not know whether the little Star in the big valley ever twinkles—but the eyes of its readers do, and pretty often, over its innumerable blunders. — A San Francisco comp, in setting a list of claims against the city which had passed the board of supervision, concluded with the words « the bilks were ordered to be paid. » On which the S.F. Examiner fervently exclaims: « Blessings on the intelligent compositor! He has a bad heart, but his hand is true. » —A New York comp's version of « Zig-zag Levies » was « 215-209 Levies. » —The Napier Telegraph, in reporting a harbor board meeting, recorded that a letter was read from Tom Clark requesting the loan of twenty barrels of cement. Some of the public, being quite unacquainted with Tom, were a little mystified, until they read in the morning paper that the application was from the Town Clerk.—This is nearly equal to the celebrated error in the printed balance-sheet of an English borough: « To cleaning and regulating Town Clerk, £2. » —We are surprised to read in the literary Bookmart (p. 231), « 'We doubt it much,' as the Wabrus said. » It was the Carpenter, not the « Wabrus, » who had his doubts, and his words were briefly « I doubt it. » In quoting from a classic, accuracy is essential. —A pupil in a public school is responsible for the following original definition: « Repugnant—one who repugs. » —The New York Herald (Paris edition), announcing a forthcoming cookery-book, states that it will give instructions in cooking « the haggis and other game-birds of Scotland. » —The following compound metaphor in an election-speech is reported from Queensland: « Gentlemen, the renown of this glorious victory will re-echo in golden letters through the corridors of the river of time. » —A home telegram in a West Coast paper reads: « Mr O'D, of Van Rossa, supports Parnell. » Such is fame.