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A Christmas Cake in Four Quarters

Chapter III. Christmas Day in India (continued)

page 224

Chapter III. Christmas Day in India (continued).

The children had a hundred questions to ask about Mrs. Owen's stories, and Jack made but one objection, that they were not half dreadful enough, and entreated that the evening's amusement might wind up with one more story, which should be really "jolly shocking."

"But it must be about India," stipulated Frank; "at least, if Mrs. Owen can remember anything more about that Christmas evening."

Such contradictory orders would have puzzled anyone else except the lady to whom they were issued. I felt that these demands, which "grew by page 225what they fed on," were becoming overwhelming, and I was preparing to come to Mrs. Owen's aid by suggestions about Nurse, and bedtime, and so forth, when, after a moment's pause, she said—

"Well, I will tell you just one more story tonight; it must be the very last, remember. It is rather dreadful, Jack, for it is about assassination" (here I looked horrified), "and I heard it the Christmas evening when we sat in that same pavilion, after Mrs. Burton had told us her adventures, so it must be considered an Indian and a Christmas story together. This is how it came to be related:—

"After Mrs. Burton's long story was ended, we were thinking of saying good-night, and going away in a somewhat subdued and silent frame of mind, when one of our party called out to Colonel Burton—

"'You may come back, now, Colonel! Mrs. Burton has finished her story, and has worked page 226upon our feelings to such an extent that we are all very dismal. What are you and Leslie laughing at in such a heartless manner? You have gone through enough to make you grave all your life, I should think.'

'"So I have, so I have,' replied Colonel Burton, 'but still a hearty laugh now and then does one a world of good;' and he went off into shouts of mirth again.

"We all thought this a great deal too bad, the Colonel keeping the joke, whatever it was, to himself; and we called upon Major Leslie to tell us what they had been talking about whilst we were listening to Mrs. Burton's story.

"'I was only telling the Colonel of an absurd mistake which happened to a sailor brother of mine the other day,' said Major Leslie. ' If hearing about Mrs. Burton's escape has made you all feel nervous and excited, you can't do better than listen to my nonsense, which I will warrant to send you all to your charpoys 16 in a light-hearted, page 227Christmas-evening frame of mind, if it has no better effect.—You remember my brother Bob, perhaps, Sir James,' continued Major Leslie, turning to our gallant host and commanding officer; 'he is the most hare-brained young monkey in her Majesty's service—afloat, I mean; and I fully expect he will get into trouble some of these days. The worst of it is, he looks upon everything as a joke, or a capital story; and when I was shaking my elder-brother head at him the other day for some middy's frolic in which he had been concerned, he assured me that was nothing, and, being in a confidential mood, added that he really had ance nearly come to grief. Once! I thought to myself; a dozen times would be nearer the number of your escapes, Master Bob. However, I said nothing, knowing he never needed encouragement to talk; and without any questioning or pressing from me, he told me this story, which has amused Colonel Burton so much.

"'Master Bob was pretty high up among the page 228middies a year or two ago, when he went his last cruise, and, according to his own statement, leaving off his childish pranks, and behaving more like the fine young man he was growing. He had a capital Captain, and a very smart ship in the Sylphide, and all went well until they dropped their anchor in the Bay of Honduras, just outside Belize. No sooner was the cable let go, than the officer of the watch reported that a boat was pulling towards them from a timber ship a little way further out. On being hailed, the crew, only two in number, announced that they were the bearers of a note from their skipper to the Captain of the Sylphide. The note was handed up over the side, for the crew in the dingy were such villanous-looking fellows that the officer would not let them come on board. The short, hurried epistle contained an earnest entreaty that the Captain of the frigate would send one of his boats' crew on board of the timber vessel, for the rest of her sailors, of whom the scoundrels alongside were page 229specimens, had mutinied, and the poor skipper fully expected to be murdered.

"'The Sylphide's commander was much shocked at this state of things, and warmly promised assistance, despatching immediately a boat's company of blue-jackets, under Master Bob's command, with orders to use all possible haste in reaching the timber ship, and further instructions to signal the state of affairs on board. For this purpose the coxswain had provided himself with a boat-signal book, and the men gave way with hearty goodwill.

"'As soon as they came near enough to the distressed ship to hail her, the captain reported all right on board, but invited the officer in command of the friendly crew to come on board, which Bob lost no time in doing. He told me he felt rather aggrieved at the prospect of a "jolly row" ending peaceably after all, and when he stood on the deck of the ship which he had come prepared to help, and saw the faces of her mixed crew, he suspected page 230that if the quarrel had come to blows, they would have been pretty hard ones. However, all was now smooth sailing, her skipper reported, owing, doubtless, to the fortunate arrival of the Sylphide, and he had only to offer his best thanks to the captain for his promptness in sending the help he had asked for. Would the officer in command come below and take a glass of sherry before he returned to his vessel? Certainly he would; but before Bob descended the companion-ladder, he hailed his coxswain, and desired him to signal to the Sylphide that they had found all quiet on board the timber ship, and were on the point of returning.

"'"Ay, ay, sir," replied the coxswain, touching his cap and wetting his thumb, the better to turn over the leaves of his signal-book.

"'"Have you got it?" asked Bob; "be careful what you signal, and look sharp about it."

"'With a quiet conscience, feeling he had amply fulfilled his duty towards his Queen and country, page 231Master Bob followed his entertainer down into the dingy little state cabin, and prepared to give his opinion on the merits of some highly-esteemed vintage which was about to be produced. But the cork had no sooner been drawn, and the guest about to raise his glass to his lips, than an exclamation from his entertainer caused him to put down hastily his wine-glass, and rush on deck as fast as his legs would carry him. There he found everybody in a state of bewilderment, each man asking his neighbour what was the matter on board the Sylphide. Bob snatched up a telescope, and looked towards the frigate, but it only enabled him to see more clearly what he had just refused to believe when his own eyes showed him. The great launch had been got out, a large gun had been slung over the side, and was placed in the middle; marines with their muskets, blue jackets with their cutlasses, were swarming over the side. He heard the Captain calling out through his speaking trumpet, "Boarders, away!" and all the page 232oars dipped at one stroke into the water, whilst the boats literally bounded like spurred horses, away from the Sylphide's side.

"'Where is the enemy? was Bob's first thought; but before it had hardly glanced through his mind, one of his own men in the boat alongside said to him, "Coming this way, sir." So they were; there was no doubt about that, and as fast as stout and willing arms could ply their oars, too. "What on earth is the matter on board your ship, Mr. Leslie?" asked the skipper of the timber merchant. "What, indeed!" cried Bob. "I am sure I don't know;" and, feeling as if he were dreaming, he walked to the lee side, where his boat was moored, and saw the coxswain standing up in it, still and fixed as a statue, with one arm akimbo, like this, and the other stretched straight out, holding an extended cutlass. "What are you doing, Simmons?" asked Bob. "Signalling, sir," replied Simmons without moving." I never seed such a rum go as this. I signals this way, as I'm a-doin' on now, which is 'all page 233quiet' in the book. They signals back, Repeat signal. I repeats, and then they get in this blessed fuss, and out with the launch, and all the time they keep tellygraffying Repeat signal, so I is repeaten on it, sir."

"'"Hand up the signal-book, one of you," said Bob; and as soon as he got it he turned to the page. What was his horror to find that his Irish coxswain had been all this time steadily making the signal which stood for the word assassination in the code. The mistake was an easy one, for it was only reversing the position in which Simmons was still standing.

"'"Hold hard, Simmons," roared Bob, in great dismay; "no wonder they are in a fuss on board,—you're signalling 'assassination' as hard as you can; look here," and he showed him the book.

"'Simmons' face fell, and for that matter so did his extended arm, as he said, "So it is, sir; I thought it was t'other way." By this time the launch and two other boats were within hail of the page 234timber ship, from whose deck Bob shouted with a confidence he was far from feeling, "It's all right now; you may go back." And so they rowed away, in much surprise, I should think, at such a sudden change for the better in so desperate a situation.

"'The astonishing part of the story, to my ears,' concluded Major Leslie, 'is, that there was not a tremendous row of another sort on board the Sylphide as soon as Master Bob and his clever coxswain got back to their ship; but, from all accounts, the affair blew over in perfect safety and silence. Bob confessed to have been in what he elegantly called "an awful funk" for some days; but my own impression is, that the Captain laughed at the mistake so much that he felt it was no use trying to make a serious matter of so ridiculous a story. The coxswain was observed to be very diligent in his study of the boat-signals for some time afterwards, but that was the only effect of his unfortunate mistake.'

page 235

"We certainly had a good laugh at Mr. Leslie's story, in which merriment Colonel Burton joined as cheerily as if he had never heard it before, and then we discovered it was actually eleven o'clock, a frightfully late hour for our primitive and early habits. So there was nothing to do but for us all to shake hands very cordially with each other, and with fresh good wishes for future Christmas Days, to say good-night and go off to our tents, which would be struck at five o'clock the next morning.

"And so ended my only Christmas Day in India; and if it was not made up of the usual pleasant routine of the English festival, it had, at all events, its own share of adventure and excitement."

page 236page 237page 238

16 A charpoy is a type of bed in India. (Merriam Webster Dictionary, online edition, last accessed July 2012).

[Note added by Ashlee Nelson as annotator]