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Salient. An Organ of Student Opinion at Victoria College, Wellington, N.Z. Vol. 2, No. 12. June 28, 1939

A Bad Ballad

A Bad Ballad

She would have been a pretty girl.
Would Cassandra Lizzie Grey,
With big blue eyes and golden hair,
But her nose got in the I way.

She would have read improving books,
Would Cassandra Lizzie Grey;
But she could not see one word of print
For her nose got in the way.

She would have had a charming voice,
Would Cassandra Lizzie Grey;
But her vowels acquired a nasty twang,
For her nose got in the way.

She picked up with a handsome youth.
Did Cassandra Lizzie Grey.
But when he tried to kiss her, oh!
Her nose got in the way.

Said he. "You'd make a first-class wife.
Sweet Cassandra Lizzie Grey,
But you could not see to sew or cook.
For your nose gets in the way."

The girl succumbed to awful blues.
Poor Cassandra Lizzie Grey.
The career of marriage was closed to her.
For her nose got in the way.

She seized upon the carving knife
Poor Cassandra Lizzie Grey.
And tried to slit her jugular vein,
But her nose got in the way.

She put her head in the old gas stove.
Poor Cassandra Lizzie Grey:
But the gas refused to penetrate.
For her note got in the way.

"I can't be meant for death as yet"
Said Cassandra Lizzie Grey.
"For whether 1 try to live or die
My nose gets in the way."

But once when reaching for some jam,
Poor Cassandra Lizzie Grey
Knocked down the jar and tried to dodge,
But her nose got in the way.

She fell down ill the pantry dead.
Once Cassandra Lizzie Grey.
They had an O.S. coffin built.
For her nose got in the way.

I like to think she went to Hell.
And the Devil cried. "Pray stay."
She tried to miss the pitchfork, but
Her nose got in the way.

R.M.F.