Sad Case of John Willy or J.D.K.Z.

One day, after a midday snooze in the sun, John Willy came down from the roof of the Biology Block to find sentries mounted over the laboratories and the corridors filled with men. Outwardly they resembled Wellington City Council Milkmen, but John Willy correctly surmised that they were Storm Troopers, dressed in field grey, who had managed to gain control of one of Wellington's [unclear: Mey] positions.

He felt a desire, to run, as he was not Very keen on being the Next Victim of Brutal Nazi Aggression. But a sentry challenged him.

"Friend or foe?"

"I'm not quite sure," said John Willy who was a Communist, and who thought that under the circumstances he had better Get In Touch With Moscow.

"Do you," said the sentry, "support the British Government in its aggression of my Fatherland?"

"I'm not quite sure of that either," replied John Willy, "but as a University student it is, of course, impossible for me to believe that the British Government is ever right in its actions or policies. At any rate, it is one big social democratic compromise, and it's awfully wicked to compromise."

The sentry said "Pass friend."

John tried to make his way downstairs with the object of slipping out a side door. He was soon accosted by another in[unclear: veder] who looked as if he might be trying to sell [unclear: Extray] tickets or shares in a Tasmanian consultation. "Do you belong to our local branch of the Nazi Party?" said the uniformed man.

"Well, I couldn't really say, "countered John Willy, who thought that the Stud Ass fee covered everything, but who had a suspicion that the Nazi Party had not yet been affiliated. "Then couldn't you think?" said the military man, assuming a sinister air.

John Willy was taken aback. "Think? See here! During the term my time was occupied by essays, exercises, lectures, and Daventry Broadcasts. Then there was the Revue. And now the holidays are to be permeated with the hideous insistence of insidious professorial propaganda on the question of Terms. You page break should know that no University student has time to think."

The military man's aspect changed. He beamed at John Willy and said that, as he was not in the habit of thinking, he was obviously a fitting recruit for the Party.

The student pursued his course, but found the outside door bolted. Ambling into the Cafeteria he found a Staff Meeting in progress. The Field Marshall was addressing his subordinates. "No doubt," he was saying, "you will recollect that when last we met in the [unclear: Wilhelmstrasse] we were discussing the collaboration afforded us by the local Pacifists." One of the Generals interrupted him with the remark that personally he admired Pacifists. "Quite right," said the F.M. "They make their convictions fit their courage. Then they automatically have the courage of their convictions and are noble people."

Deciding that he was de trop, John Willy moved away. At the foot of the stairs he met Mr. Brook, who was flourishing a "Detour sign. By following this and other signs he found himself in the Library. Here he found a beautiful girl writing. Although he did not know it, she was an enchantress in disguise. No one had invited her to the Capping Ball, and she bore a grudge against Victoria College and Society.

John whispered "what are you writing, my pretty maid?"

"I am writing a thesis, sir," she said.

"Wouldn't you like to try my fountain pen?" she continued.

As soon as John Willy took hold of it he pricked his finger with, the nib. Immediately everyone in the College fell sound asleep. (It was, however, only a matter of comparison - sleepy, sleepier, sound asleep).

Prince Charming had gone away with the First Echelon, so the Wellington police came up instead and arrested the sleeping invaders. They also wake up John Willy and the Academic Staff, neither of whom was very grateful. The former was, quite naturally, under the impression that he had been attending a lecture, while the latter thought it had been delivering them.

G.P.G.S.