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Salient. An Organ of Student Opinion at Victoria College, Wellington, N.Z. Vol. 14, No. 13. October 4, 1951

lecturers — with apologies to all good lecturers

lecturers

with apologies to all good lecturers

once
upon a time
there was a lecturer
who was a good lecturer
in fact a very good lecturer
which proves
that unto God all things are possible and that
this is a fairy tale of the highest
hypotheticality
not only did he prepare his lectures
some weeks ahead but he knew
something about the mechanics of lecturing
of using his voice and he didnt
tell the same joke twice running
the same year in fact he sometimes
had new ones he didnt give
histories of theories but theories
he didnt waffle
prevaricate divagate meander pontificate or even
hesitate to answer questions
which were to the point
he believed in absolutes
and said so
unlike most lecturers
and all liberals whose only absolute
is that there is no absolute
he never passed round dogeared rolls
didnt need them
his students didn't absent themselves
didnt want to
they didnt take notes and regurgitate them
he weaned em
he didnt speak on china
like the delphic oracle he didnt
make landfall
with a bellyflop in unknown seas nor even
smooth his hair with gracious affectation
and poetry for him was not
the sexlife of the poets
it had meaning
he refused to be a chancellor vice or otherwise
or a unesco delegate or to join
those speakers for themselves and incidentally
the rest of mankind including God
all of which would have excused him from the need
of appearing at lectures except those given by visiting speakers
of some prominence who havent got the brains to be
vice chancellors or unesco delegates
or even speakers for themselves
in short for a university man
he was a complete failure and suffered
numerous fools and
an early demise the moral of which is
hell is where you find it
up the stairs
into the lecture room
and a damn side too familiar
dispiritedly yours

hori