Come And Get It You Jokers

By Whim Wham

Should the University restrict its intake to a smaller group of more Intellectually able students than at present? . . . "I would reply that, since the egalitarian spirit of New Zealand is against any kind of specially favoured aristocracy of brain or otherwise. It is in keeping with public sentiment to give as wide a range as possible of young people the chance for higher qualification by university study,"—Dr. G. A. Currie. Vice-Chancellor of the University of New Zealand.

For my Part, I am well content
To follow public Sentiment.
In This, I think I am appealing
To What is called a Widespread Feeling.
It is my Joy, it is my Pride
To have the Public on my Side;
With public Sentiment allied
I feel Myself to be invincible
On any Point involving Principle.
This is the Burden of my Song:
Two Million Jokers can't be wrong.
Or if they can, it's not polite
To mention it, or put them right.
To be a Daniel (should you dare)
Won't ever get you Anywhere.
. . . Our proud and equal Race disdains
An Aristocracy of Brains:
It is the Task of Education
To iron flat the Population.
And Nature's Blunders thus correct
In the Domain of Intellect.
Wherefore I now direct my Homily
Toward that obsolete Anomaly
The University. On What
Pretext, conceivable or not,
Does this absurd Concern assume
The Right of choosing Those to whom
B.A's. M.A's or LL.B.'s
And other valuable Degrees
Shall be awarded Year by Year?
While many a promising Career
Is blighted in the Bud, alas.
Through Inability to "pass"?
Discriminatory Methods rule
In every Faculty and School—
And what Professor dares pretend
This is not so, or dares defend
A System made to aggravate
The Inequalities we hate.
Where decent Jokers, taking Pains
Are victimised for Lack of Brains?
. . . Sir, is it not iniquitous
That Merit should be stifled thus?
Here starts my propaganda Blitz
For Academic Benefits—Free, Universal Graduation
For every Joker in the Nation.
This logical next Step. I feel,
Would bring the Colleges to Heel.
And up to Scratch, and into Line
With public Sentiment—and Mine!
—Reprinted with permission from Auckland "Herald."

". . . in this country the community does not contain any highly cultured minority of site and influence. . . ."