Camel hair and corduroy: The Posh Pussy Cult

"Glam Darling, opulent and glam."

Yes, Victoria is teeming with the posh pussies of the camelhair coat cult—and you'd better notice them, for it took a big part of their bursaries to get them in.

Major cost is the coat, which comes in three versions: economy (corduroy—permissible only in bizarre colours), affluence (imitation camelhair—from £8 up), and influence (real camelhair at £20 upwards).

Couple with this predictable accessories (see diagram), a superior private school smirk (permanently frozen with makeup, and a Southern Hawkes Bay accent with a faint hint of an overseas education—lass, you've arrived!

The impression must be: "Just down from our country place," or "Daddy's got pots."

Yet Daddy doesn't really have to be stinking rich, and many of the local genus never went near a private school.

The private school accent—hard to cultivate— can be mastered with practice. First requirement is the mental conditioning which goes with it—and one musn't get these ideas or the accent mixed up with the Fresher Intellectual Accent, which goes with raffia bags and duffle coats.

First concentrate on your "i's", which must sound as near as possible like "a's".

The "a" must then become as refined as possible. If you can get a rich throaty timbre into your voice, this adds to the fascination.

Speak very slowly, with long pauses—which will cover up the moments when inspiration fails but the talk must go on.

There is still time—throw away your utilitarian clothes and join. You'll merge into the crowd alright—no one will ever notice you ...

1.	Shiny, swinging hair
2.	Twinset and single string of artificial pearls
3.	Pigskin leather gloves
4.	Tweed skirts
5.	Saddlemaster brogues
6.	Brand-new, extra large, leather suitcase (gold initials in Olde English caps)
7.	Superior (private school) smirk— permanently frozen in makeup.
8.	Bandana.
X	marks The Coat!