Promise to reform

Sirs,—In order to support the contention of my value, I have uncovered the following intelligence. I trust you will reinstate me as a mark of your gratitude.

A number of undergrad, students this year when applying for library cards, stated that they were graduates in order to be allowed those privileges which have been granted to graduate students only. They were able to do this confidently, knowing that there was no cross-check on library cards to verify their claims. Should I pass this information on to the secretary?

Fred.

Ps Please can I have my job back. I promise to stop storing my meat in the type-writer.