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Salient. Victoria University of Wellington Student's Newspaper. Volume 31, Number 3. March 19 1968

The Return Of The Triboldies — Part 3

The Return Of The Triboldies

Part 3

Once more we are on our way. Here it is very bumpy, since there is no path. The double pelicano is sticking into my back. Nostradamus and Onomatopeia shout at each other; Olla Podrida shouts at Peccadillo and Cumulonimbus. Perhaps I shall not enjoy this trip. Never mind! It is not important to enjoy the trip; it is the end that is important.

Now we have been going for six days; we are about to go down into the third valley. Thousands of feet below us is the river, which we shall have to follow till we can cross it. Sparadrap has announced a meeting and we are stopped here, waiting for our tail to catch up with our head. Sparadrap is on top of his wagon, waving his arms like a sparrow.

He has said that we may not be coming back. Nor may we be arriving elsewhere. Thus we should build a monument to ourselves in case of accident. What a crackpot idea! However it has many merits. I strongly agree with Sparadrap. He has exhorted us all to go back to help him build an everlasting monument to ourselves. However many of us disagree, being anxious to press on, toward the long-sought land.

Agreement has been reached, after two days wasted arguing here. All those who wish to have a monument shall go back to the bleak plateau that we have left, and there, from the remains that we have left behind, construct a mighty monument, bearing the names of the constructors, collectively mentioning the remainder of our people. All those not interested in posterity (fools) are to press on, but gently, so that they may be caught up with in the end. Some rearrangement of wagons is going on. Sad. In Ottoman's wagon five of the nine are leaving him. In return, Monopteros, Partenopexus, Bwzampulism, and Pergola. Altogether only 220 (including 31 magicians) are coming to make the monument. These are Sparadrap. Rigmarole, Kalamazoo, Chattanooga, Woollongong, Cool-angatta, Rubadub, Asa Nisi Masa, Abricadabra, Unesco, Magnanimouse, Cannabis, Zambesi, Critique, Bdellious, Begonia, Antirrhinum, Anapaestic, Polynomial, Entomology, Zitherrum, Heliotrope, Isotope, Glagolitsa, Piccadilly, Spaghetti, Vermicelli, Ravioli, Hocus Pocus, Holus Bolus, Harum Scarum, Myomy, Xerox, Craddledeeber, Cafuffle, Persimmon, Amphibrach, Catalectric, Glockenspiel, Arch-bubble, Fandango, Farrago, Dilemma, Trilobite, Grampus, Michelangelo, Necti, Harmony-in-a-treetop, Harpzinger, Hockey Palilla, Edialeda, Enasmon, Relasmon, Relionus, Manchuria, Dirigible, Alphonsus, Laughing Gas, Ethyl Chloride, Epiglottis, Antimony, Coleoptera, Aramoana, Mono-lithic, Waikaremoana, Asymptote, Charybdis, Electrolysis, Catharsis, Oxymoron, Reflexis, Refractori, Perfunctori, Hemiplegia, Phenylketonuria, Sciatica, Congolomerate, Enaluron, Dihedral, Monocline, Sclerosis, Octones, Euphonium, Sanitarium, Rolypolyomyelitis, Slimeomyo, Kattegat, Skaggerak, Popocatapetl, Axolotl, Epiglottal, Tautologi, Agnostices, Millipedestrian, Momentum, Velocipede, Perambulator, Whirligig, Antihexagram, Hexahexaflexagon, Hiron-del, Brylcreem, Falstaff, Seminar, Pantagruel, Gargantua, Alphabet, Monothong, Phthisis, Pentameter, Gerund, Geron-tophilia, Isometric, Conundrum, Corstorphine, Turpentine, Pikestaff, Perspicacio, Prebyterian, Haranguertang, Paraphernalia, Panjandrum, Pentecostal, Cartesian, Mephistopheles, Anaxagoras, Seismich, Prestidigitator, Triumvirate, Ophthalmologist, Phenothiazine, Phenobarbara, Necrophilia, Nymphomania, Noilly Prat, Ameliaration, Coniunctio, Amos Quito, Pugnacio, Jiminy Cricket, Johnny Appleseed, Telemachus, Referendo, Aurora Borealis, Waterlulu, Hermaphrodite, Paramecium, Connotate, Oerlikon, Parabellum, Hotch-kiss, Syphilis, Gonorrhea, Diarrhea, Polyphony, Peripheral, Paradigmatic, Madrigal, Bismarck, Charlemagne, Glaucon, Kakophony, Scintillate, Titillate, Kanchenjunga, Kilimanjaro, Ontario, Stromboli, Commonweal, Stropoff, Vesuvius, Transcendentist, Renegade, Episcopalia, Tonsillectomy, Gastrophonic, Intracostal, Diaphragmatic, Methylosis, Elephantiasis, Andromeda, Ballista, Excoriat, Eketahuna, Kabotchka, Basilica, Chronohotonthologos, Cagliostro, Quidditas, Oceanbottom, Cabbagewater, Concomitanz, Charivari, Jeronimo, Geranium, Ponderosa, Andironax, Ruwenzori, and Cantilever, as well as those I have mentioned already. These faithful few are leaving at daybreak tomorrow. As for the others, as soon as they have collected their wits, they will depart. It is sad to have our people part like this; it is possible that we may never meet again.

We are at the bottom of the first valley. We have only to make our way up the mountain, over the first pass, and then we shall be back in our erstwhile homeland. But it is such a long way up the mountain! Why not build the monument here, where there is plenty of wood? The best spot to build the monument must be the flat top of the hill where I have so often sat and looked eastward. Sparadrap envisages a monument of four poles surmounted by four more poles arranged in a lozenge shape. In the centre of each of the horizontal poles comprising the facets of the lozenge there would be four more vertical poles, surmounted by four more poles arranged in a lozenge shape. In the centre of each of the horizontal poles comprising the facets of the lozenge there would be four more vertical poles, surmounted by the same again and again and again, repeated till we run out of materials or inclination, whichever might happen first. Perhaps the magicians could be of some help in turning the trees to wood. Perhaps one hot glance would petrify the saplings. Perhaps not. What a useless bunch of creatures our so-called ""'magicians'"" are! Whenever I visit them they seem to be either writing in multicoloured inks on one of their ancient diagrams, or composing bawdy verse. Rigmarole and Ottoman are among the best of them: they have some sense of the past.

The philosophers have at last done something useful! They have brought some bare poles, saying that they felled and stripped the trees by magic. Others think that the poles were found somewhere (judging by their weathered appearance, which the magicians claim to have produced); in which case they may belong to somebody; in which case that somebody may reclaim them after we have built our monument, in which case they will take down our monument and be in possession of our names, in which case it will be very bad luck for us.

Animals are hard at work, putting up the poles. There are 33 poles; therefore we are making four layers of the lozenge, with an additional pole planted vertically in the centre of the top lozenge. On this topmost pole we shall all carve our signs.

The monument is finished. It looks very small. Now we are sorry that we did not place it at the top of the mountain, rather than the bottom. Too bad! Tomorrow we leave.