She Offered

Sir—Mrs Belding's propositions are extremely attractive. I would just love to (a) steal, (b) commit adultery, (c) sleep with every girl I fancy, (d) embezzle cash from my own brother, and (e) rape the sister of my best friend. Especially as I would have the sanction of being logically consistent.

Unfortunately (a) I'm not quick enough to get away with it, (b) I'm not married, (c) most of the girls don't necessarily fancy me, (d) my brother is much bigger than I am, and (e) I'm just too damn lazy to make the effort.

However I Will keep Mrs Belding's kind offer In mind.

D. F. Cropp.