Mae West Stomp (a fable)

train goes by every nite the same old time & he, same old man, sits looking into a rosary which reads "i told you so" while rocking back & forth thinking about his eldest son, Hambone, who's in jail for life — buying beer for the kids & murdering the grocer with a pocket comb — this same old man, with nothing but a bathtub full of memories consisting of: a few Baby Huey for President buttons — a deck of cards with the aces missing — some empty deodrant bottle — a pamphlet of egyptian slogans — three pant legs that dont match & a hollow lynch rope...sits in a candy wrapper chair muttering day in court— day in court— i'll get it yet — my day in court— a dapper young gentleman with chapped lips rubbed them on the old man's neck today — the little old man is planning revenge just as the same old time train shakes his whistler's mother painting off the wall & it gooses him too,..day in court— i'll get it yet — yesterday was not so good either — a fox left him in a clump of mud & some little pest let him have it right in the kisser with a mixture of bamboo, barley & rotten ice cream — there he sits wishing he could get thru to the president — the little old man's bowels ache so he opens the window to breath some good fresh air — be inhales deeply — there is a line full of wet underwear —used tires—dirty bed sheets—hats— chicken feathers —an old watermelon — paper plates & some other garments — johny drumming wind — an indian, passing thru on his way to st louis, is standing neath the old man's window — "amazing" he says as he looks up & sees all this stuff on the clothesline suddenly get sucked into a hole...next day, the rent collector comes to get the rent— finds that the old man has disappeared & that the room's full of garbage — the lady who owns the clothesline, she reports theft to the robbery department — "all my valuables have been stolen" — she mutters to the inspector — the train still goes by at the same old time & johny drumming wind, he gets picked up for vagrancy — the rent collector looks around — steals a broken coocoo "i think i'll give it to my wife" he says —'his wife, who is six feet tall & wears a fez, & who, at the minute, by weird circumstance, is riding by on that same old time train — all in all, not much happens in Chicago

i'm not saying that books are
good or bad, but i dont think
youve ever had the chance to find
out for yourself what theyre all
about — ok, so you used to get B's
in the ivanhoe tests & A minuses
in the silas marners...then you
wonder why you flunked the hamlet
exams — yeah well that's because one
hoe & one lass do not make a spear —
the same way two wrongs do not make
a thong — now that youve been thru
life, why dont you try again...you
could start with a telephone book —
wonder woman — or perhaps catcher in
the rye — theyre all the same & everybody
has their hat on backwards thru the
stories

see you at the docks helpfully yours, Sir Cringe