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Salient. Victoria University Student Newspaper. Vol 36 No. 5. 29 March 1973

Dopehounds

Dopehounds

Sir,

Well, well, Wellington Police have imported Auckland's number one grass sniffer in an effort to discover the hidden stashes of our fair city. Their well-trained and fed hound represents the ideal of the modern police force — no identification, no brain, a total dedication to duty and immunity to criminal prosecution.

As their hearing range is beyond human, dogs will either follow or become confused if the old-fashioned silent dog-whistle is blown near them. Commands of "fuckoff" and "my landlord doesn't allow pets in his properties" have not been known to work. Always demand identification and a leash if a policeman and hit dog visit you. Dogs are supposed to be N.Z. bom but with their superior training and practice both South African and U.S. dogs are being smuggled into the country and presented as bona-fide local sniffers (although they seem to rely on colour as opposed to smell).

Talking about sniffing a box of snuff can come in handy if placed under the searching nose. However, this is looked at as 'inflammatory' and could lead to arrest on grounds of 'obstruction'.

Yours

Moose Brown