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Salient. Victoria University Student Newspaper. Volume 36, Number 23. 23rd September 1973

Interview with a Cheat

page 4

Interview with a Cheat

Cheat header

[unclear: How] many years have you been a student at his university?

[unclear: Three] years.

[unclear: What] sort of degree are you doing?

[unclear: An] arts degree.

[unclear: How] many exams have you sat in the course of his degree?

[unclear: About] fifteen.

[unclear: n] many exams have you cheated?

[unclear: About] twelve. I didn't cheat in my first year be-[unclear: cause] I didn't know about the devices available.

[unclear: Well], why did you become conversant with heating techniques?

[unclear: was] forced into it by getting low marks in the [unclear: irst] year, and I found I could get extremely [unclear: ood] marks by cheating.

[unclear: Did] you fail any units in the first year?

[unclear: o], I didn't. Cheating just made the job of [unclear: swot-ing] easier. Treating knowledge as individual [unclear: property] that has to be kept in one's own head was [unclear: very] onerous kind of a job, and I found that by [unclear: haring] knowledge with the writers of the various [unclear: ooks] I saved a lot of work.

[unclear: Were] the techniques you used your own invent-[unclear: on], or did somebody else teach them to you?

[unclear: o], I think I invented the methods myself.

[unclear: hat] were the methods you used?

[unclear: used] the old 'piece of blotting paper' method. [unclear: hen] you go into the first exam, you go in [unclear: arly] and get a large number of pieces of blotting [unclear: aper], and write prepared answers on these pieces [unclear: f] blotting paper, and take them into the exam.

[unclear: o] if your exam is at 9.30 do you rush in at 9 [unclear: clock] and duck off to the toilets or somewhere [unclear: nd] write your notes on the blotting paper?

[unclear: o]. No. You get a stack of blotting papers, days, [unclear: eeks], months before the exam. Then you go [unclear: head], write down your notes on the blotting [unclear: aper] and take it into the exam with you. But if [unclear: ou're] in the first exam on the first day it's [unclear: bviously] very difficult to get blotting paper. If [unclear: our] first exam is a bit later you can go around [unclear: xam] rooms and get blotting papers out of rubb-[unclear: h] tins, there's always piles of them. But even if [unclear: our] first exam is on the first day you can always [unclear: at] a piece of blotting paper out of the front of [unclear: our] foolscap pad to the size of the examination [unclear: lotting] paper.

[unclear: o] you carry the blotting paper in your coat [unclear: ocket] or in your pencil case?

[unclear: he] best way is to slip it in under your jersey. [unclear: nce] you get into the exam you write furiously [unclear: n] the blotting paper provided preparing quest-[unclear: ons] — you're permitted to do this before the [unclear: xam's] started, and before you've been given the [unclear: aper]. You make out that you're writing down [unclear: he] things you've learnt at the last minute. So you go in, sit in as prominent a position as possible and write all over the blotting papers that are issued. You go like mad and make it obvious that you're actually writing. When the exam actually starts and you're issued with the paper you settle down, relax a bit, have a look at it, ponder about last night's fuck or something for about half an hour. Then you bring out the pieces of blotting paper from under your jersey. Having reached that point in time it's absolutely impossible to get caught because there's no way of showing that you wrote those notes before you went into the exam room.

Drawing of a man wearing film reels

But if you prepare your notes thoroughly and write down quotes etc. your blotting papers could appear to be too detailed, couldn't they?

Oh yes. In one exam I didn't have time to prepare one single thing, and I barely had time to read a book on the subject. Furthermore the essays I'd handed in for this course were all written by my friends. So I employed a specialist in the field and paid him about $20 to write a lengthy thing on three areas of the course, which he did. I stayed up the night before the exam and wrote down his notes on the blotting paper. It took me all night to do it, too. It was a lot of stuff and it took up about 8 blotting papers. I didn't know anything about the exam at all and so I had to write straight off the blotting papers. That was a bit dangerous because it would be very difficult if you were caught to argue that you wrote all that after you got inside the exam room. But it gets better as time goes by because you squirt ink over the blotting papers as you use them, and so it gets safer and safer as the exam progresses. If you've only got two or three pieces of blotting paper, and make it apparent you're writing on blotting paper as soon as you get into the exam then there's no way the supervisor can distinguish between the blotting paper you're issued with and the blotting paper you brought into the exam.

Did you pass the exam where you paid $20 for a prepared answer?

Yes, I got a good mark — a B1.

How many other people use this system, as far as you know?

I haven't come across any. It seems silly because it's a very easy way of cheating.

Have you ever been caught or suspected?

No.

You've never had any worries about that?

No.

You'll be finishing your degree this year, is that right?

Yes.

And how do you feel about receiving a B.A. degree which has been got entirely through cheating?

I don't think there is any qualitative difference between memorising a series of facts and writing down a series of facts — there can't be.

Image of a pencil as a head

When you're at university do you do the normal amount of work for a course — go to all your tutorials, read all the books and do all your essays?

Oh yes. Some parts of it are quite enjoyable. It sometimes becomes neccessary to plagiarise a bit— selective rewording of the great authors — but most lecturers do that in their lectures anyway.

You seem to be implying that you enjoy university work. But why are you so worried about getting a degree if it's going to involve so much effort cheating, and so much risk in terms of your reputation and your future?

Oh, the need to cheat is just part of determining that I can go on studying, and study things I want to learn about the following year. There's nothing important about the degree itself, but some areas of learning are quite interesting. But I don't think you should treat the whole thing too seriously. I don't think you should treat exams seriously.

So you cheat simply to ensure that you can continue at university?

Yes, I want to make sure there's no problem about failing.

You talk about making knowledge a social thing by sharing it with the great authors, but don't you think you're really being extremely individualistic by using a method of cheating which only a few students can get away with successfully, rather than pressing for the abolition of exams or widely advocating that your cheating techniques be adopted by all students?

I've no objection to my techniques being adopted by other students.

But have you encouraged this?

I've made no secret of the fact I cheat, but most students seem to want to go through the business of doing an exam — very much like the way a pregnant mother seems to want to suffer the pain of having a baby. And they're suckers for punishment. As soon as exams are over they forget how bad it was and come back for more!

Do you think examinations should be abolished?

Yes, they're just an idiotic waste of time.

How about in-term assessment? Do you cheat during those sort of exams?

No. not usually. It's more difficult, especially with those bloody short answer questions. The best thing to do there is to sit with people you know, and it's very easy to exchange answers. You can work out a sort of sign language for agreeing on which answer is the true and correct one.

It seems that your cheating techniques are just making a farce out of the examination system. Are exams s farce?

Yes, exams are anti-intellectual. They treat knowledge as something trivial, and as a private thing rather than a social commodity which could be applied to social uses. This is a symptom of the competitive nature of the wider society, I suppose.

Do you think you're doing anything to change this by cheating?

No, I don't think so. In a situation where I do it and others don't, obviously I'm winning in a competition. But I still oppose the competitive system.

You're at the end of your degree now. Do you regret the way you've got your degree, and if you did it all over again would you employ the same methods?

Yes I would. But I wouldn't wait around the first year to find out how bad the exams were. I'd start cheating straight away.