There's a spot under the 4th bench along in Pigeon Park which has nothing to do with this letter, but I wish someone would clean it up.

Dear Whom-so-ever so this shall concern, if you're not interested Mumsy has promised me she will read this. She also said if you don't put my letter in your paper she'll be very cross with you!

Anyway I would like to say how much I enjoy reading Salient, it is the highlight of my week. The dynamic way you and your staff keep coming up with daringly bold witty articles which really reflect how light-hearted and good humoured student life can be never ceases to amaze me as I study my accountancy.

Oh dear! I've forgotten what I was going to.....