page 222

Chapter XVI I Fight a Battle

I will pass lightly over the days, weeks, and months which immediately followed. Even the gold wherewith memory gilds the past will scarce bear rubbing at this point. My mind took no cognizance of the passing hours; day and night followed each other unnoted while I lived again the three years of my happiness. Interest was dead in me. I was as one numbed by a heavy blow. Yet through this muffled half-life shot fierce flashes. There was the nightmare of the receding ship, a black speck in the infinite, turbulent waters. How far had she voyaged now?—and now? Ah, the pitiable smallness of that speck, and its infinite importance to me! By an effort of imagination I would cross the intervening leagues to be rid of that appalling sense of littleness. I would penetrate to the heart of the ship and find her—silent and a little pale, with downcast eyes, weeping softly in my arms; or gay and light-footed, frank of speech, passing hither and thither among the rough sailor men, the idol of the ship.

But always, in the end, winds blew, the sea arose, and darkness fell like a pall; then, were it day or night, I would spring up and, hastening to the stable, saddle my horse and dash away into the wilds. Riding was the one solace left me; the one relief to my misery. During those unhappy months there was not an outlying settle-page 223ment or lonely farm within fifty miles of the town that did not learn to know me; scarce a settler with whom I was not on terms of friendship. They were good to me, those simple, hard-working folk; asking no questions, glad only to see the face of a white man; the good-wife setting her homely fare before me with apology in her eyes, or pressing me to the acceptance of a couch for the night. I was not too far sunk in my self-absorption to neglect, after a while, to carry in my pockets such little trinkets and favours as bring brightness to a woman's eyes, wherewith to mark my gratitude, I hated the town with a mortal hatred; yet I could not bring myself to leave it for good, for, as yet, my old home was scarcely less repugnant to me.

No question but that it would have been well for me if at that time stern necessity had compelled me to labour for a living, or even if some employment, taken up for amusement, had become ingrained as a habit; but the departure of Sir George had bereft me of all occupation, saving only the writing up of Mr. Brompart's books, which I might do or neglect at will. Both sons failing him, he had long since expressed the desire that I should come into the business definitely as a partner. £250, he thought, was a ridiculously low sum for the good-will of a half-share; but, though my old dislike had died out, I had no wish for a closer association with him than already existed. Indeed, I had often reflected on the desirability of severing all connection with the family, and had it not been for Sarah, I would probably have already done so.

A more self-absorbed pair than Janet and her mother surely never existed. Clothes and Government House comprised the whole of their interests. They were for ever scheming to extort money from the harassed head of the house, so that they might clothe themselves in fresh splendours; and from me they sought to extract little page 224odds and ends of information concerning the private life of the Governor and Lady Grey, which might satisfy their curiosity or be of use as small talk in other circles. Possibly it was owing to my disinclination to gratify them in this respect that I eventually fell in their good graces, for, after a brief period in which I could do no wrong, I sank into a condition of mere tolerance from which I never again arose.

As for the sons, their manner towards me was either fawningly cheerful—in which case I knew what to expect—or else surly or viciously insulting. No matter that one or both of them had borrowed a sovereign from me over night, it by no means protected me from being baited with senseless insults at the breakfast table. You may wonder that in such circumstances I continued to lend them money, without, as I very well knew, the faintest prospect of having it returned; yet I am probably not the only person who has found at once a refinement of vengeance and a solace to his pride at the expense of his pocket. With what keenness of silent disdain did I supply the needs of these two mean-spirited men, and how often within a few hours of doing so have I had need to call on my pride lest I should be roused into personal violence against them.

But of Sarah I have little but good to say. She was my champion from the first day to the last. I am bound to admit that she had many of the Brompart characteristics. She had no power of endurance, but must needs-resent the most trifling innuendo as fiercely as if it were a blow. She permitted herself to be drawn into wrangles with her brothers and sister when, by remaining silent, she might have disarmed them. In the family quarrels, and they were of daily occurrence, she took her share as blithely as the rest. It was not, I think, merely my partiality that made her appear to me always in the right. When she erred it was from excess of feeling rather than from the lack page 225of it. She was the only person in the house I ever heard speak of Mr. Brompart in terms of affection, yet she was also the only one he ever reproved.

If I had had any doubts of Sarah's kindness of heart, it must have vanished in the light of her conduct when my great trouble came upon me. I had never spoken to her of my love for Helenora, yet in sundry ways she made me conscious that she was aware of it. In the black days which followed the sailing of the Commodore, the most refined lady in the land could not have shown me a more delicate sympathy. She watched my comings and goings as a mother might watch over her child. She fought pitched battles with, and worsted, her mother and sister on the question of my meals. No matter what hours I kept, food was to be in readiness on my appearance. Did not the boys keep all hours and nothing said, though John was no older than Cedric? Night after night have I found her waiting for me, with a dainty little supper, selected by her own hands, spread on the corner of the table.

"You shouldn't do it, Sarah. You make me feel ashamed."

"Why? It's not so late. I have been reading Mr. Dickens's new book. Just look at my eyes! I wouldn't have gone to bed for anything."

"He has no business to make you cry. But I wish you wouldn't go to all this bother. I have rarely any appetite for supper."

"Nor for breakfast; nor for dinner."

"Well, but I eat like a horse outside—cold boiled pork and loaves of bread."

"Oh, yes!"

"Don't do it again, there's a dear."

"Well then, eat something now."

Even when I had worn out her patience, she would frequently steal from her bedroom at the sound of my page 226step, to pour water into the little teapot waiting on the hearth. It was this that led to the incident which brought my intimate connection with the Bromparts to a close.

The favourite form of witticism with the young men was to affect that I was a Maori and to speak to me in what they represented to be that language. I do not know why they should have made me their butt, and it is scarcely worth while to inquire. Probably any youth set down in their midst would have fared the same; but it is possible that their humour took an added malignity from the facts that I was better educated and, I trust, better behaved than themselves.

On the particular morning at which I have arrived, Richard, the eldest son, a man of five or six and twenty, had been particularly offensive in his manner, and, as was her wont, Sarah had taken up the cudgels on my behalf. I had far rather she had followed my example of contemptuous silence, but it was not in her nature to sit still when her feelings were aroused. Mr. and Mrs. Brompart, together with Janet and the youngest boy, John, had finished breakfast and retired. Richard, Fred, and I, having appeared later, had detained Sarah in the room to attend to our needs. For a while the battle of taunt and counter-taunt went merrily on, making little impression, except that of noise, on my dull ears. Then I heard Sarah say, "Fancy a man of your age borrowing money from Cedric! John told me, and I shall tell father about it."

"All right, my girl," responded Richard, his brows darkening, "and I shall have something to tell him also. You think your little games in the middle of the night have had no witnesses. You take care, or——" And he concluded with a remark so gross that in an instant the red blood dyed her face from brow to neck.

Then, with the single exception of his sallow, sneering countenance, all the room became to me a black darkness. page 227I half rose and, leaning across the table, struck him, before he was aware, with the palm of my hand on the side of the face. So sound and satisfactory was the blow that his head and Fred's rang together, like the two hollow bones they were. And for the first time since the sailing of the Commodore I recognised that the wallet of life was not left entirely empty.

Sarah, still rosy and shrinking with shame, clapped her hands in glee and turned on me a pair of eyes wondrously bright and admiring.

"You young dog! "cried Richard, white with rage, with the exception of one ear, which stood out like a great red danger flag. "I'll wring your neck for that!"

"If he'd done as much to me, I'd thrash him within an inch of his life," said Fred, eyeing me viciously and still fingering the side of his head.

But life had returned to me in no meagre stream. "You would! "I cried, springing to my feet. "Then come outside and I will give you such another. Come both of you, one at a time or together." And, putting Sarah, who attempted to stay me, aside, I moved round the table towards them.

In a moment they were on their feet, and we all struggled from the room to the passage, and thence to the open air.

"Behind the stable," cried Richard, calling a momentary truce in the hostilities.

"Good!"said I. "There, or anywhere."

"Don't you call anyone, Sarah," warned Fred savagely.

"If she does," I added, "I will never speak to her again."

Her red cheeks were white now, and she followed us with steps that at one moment hung back, and in the next came quickly forward, crying out at her brothers for cowards all the while.

"Go back, you fool! "cried Fred, as we neared our page 228destination, and he raised a threatening hand as if to strike her.

"Back yourself," said I, thrusting hard against his chest, so that he reeled against the stable. "But run in, Sarah, all the same."

"They will kill you between them," she cried. "Two to one. Oh, cowards! Cowards!"

Possibly her words were not without effect on Richard, for when we had thrown aside our coats and vests, he glanced doubtfully from his brother to me and asked what it was to be.

"Toss up which of you I shall thrash first," I suggested.

At that they hesitated no longer, but came at me both together, striking wildly in their blind, revengeful fury. Joyously I met them. Life had come back to me as a river returns to its long-dry course. The black rage with which I had heard the elder Brompart asperse the character of his sister had turned into a white flame, that rage of battle which counts no odds and is capable of achieving miracles. Yet, however high my spirit, it must have proved of little avail without the training in self-defence my foster-father had given me. After the first violent encounter, during which I managed by a lucky blow to rid myself temporarily of the younger brother, the latter adopted tactics less easy to deal with, attacking me from the rear and striking me behind the ears with blows that set my head ringing. Again and again I manoeuvred to get the wall of the stable behind me; but such a guard, though excellent in defence, is a hindrance to attack, and as sure as ever I abandoned it in response to the call of some favourable opportunity, I was subjected again to this assault from behind.

At length I became convinced that if I were to succeed, I must dispose in the first place of the younger brother. Hitherto my strongest efforts had been directed against the more scientific fighter—for it had been quickly evident to page 229me that Richard Brompart knew something of the art of self-defence—but now, as the knowledge of my misjudgment was brought home to me, I turned in a flash on my other assailant. Forcing him backwards with the fury of my onslaught, and breaking down what defence he essayed, I planted right and left squarely in his face, sending him to earth, his head in falling striking the stable wall with a violence that completely incapacitated him from taking any further part in the proceedings. But, quickly as this was accomplished, Richard was upon me before I could prepare to meet him. Stars, that never shone in any firmament, flashed suddenly in my eyes, and, reeling from the force of the blow, I stumbled over Fred's legs and measured my length on the ground.

All this while I had been dimly aware of the girl hovering around us, now wringing her hands, now pressing them over her eyes, but attempting no interference. As I fell, however, and lay for the moment stunned and at the mercy of my antagonist, she darted forward and thrust herself between him and my prostrate body. But for that I truly believe he might in his black fury have kicked the senses out of me, and as it was, I bore the mark of his boot in my ribs for many a day.

"Quick, Cedric! Quick!" she cried. "Oh, you unspeakable coward! No, no! No more! Oh, my God, what shall I do!"

I was on my feet again at last, my head whirling like a teetotum, but a steadfast resolution in my heart. I had lived amongst savages and learned of what wickednesses they were capable, but it was left for me to behold a white man strike a woman. Bright on her pale cheek was the mark of his cowardly hand, and I should have been no better than he if I had cried "Enough" then.

"Stand back, Sarah!" I said. "This has got to be fought out. I can beat him, and I will."

page 230

Shudderingly and with fixed gaze she withdrew, leaving us once again facing one another. Slowly my eyes were clearing, and the numbness caused by the blow I had received was passing away from my muscles; yet I knew that for some moments longer I was in a condition to act only on the defensive. Brompart, for his part, was not without judgment in his rage. He had learned that I was not the unskilled antagonist he had expected, and probably recognised that he must immediately follow up the advantage he had gained if he hoped to come successfully out of the battle. At any rate, he wasted no time in preliminaries, but, as soon as the girl withdrew, came at me with redoubled fury, seeking with all the knowledge he possessed to deliver a knock-out blow. Warily I watched and parried, and bided my time. His exertions had taken effect on him. For ten minutes the contest had raged almost without pause, and, grown man as he was, with the advantage of weight, he was no match for me in endurance. His manner of life was telling against him. Even the sovereigns I had loaned him were now returning me interest. His face was contorted, his breath came short and sharp, judgment failed from his attack. He fought with a wild desperation that invited catastrophe.

On my side each moment found me better fitted for the encounter. Save for a cut lip, an increasing dimness, due to the gradual closing of one eye, and a singing in the ears, I was as fit as ever. At last, confident of myself, I began to attack in my turn. But his bolt was shot. Twice I felled him to the earth, and twice he staggered to his feet, teeth set and eyes gleaming. Blackguard and brute as he was, treacherous and mean as I afterwards found him, I will say for him that he had none of the physical timidity of the coward.

"Enough!" I cried, relenting. "I am satisfied."

But he was past reason. Like a maimed wolf he sprang page 231at me again and yet again, and half unwillingly and yet of necessity I struck him, full on the point of the chin, laying him motionless at my feet.

Whew! But I was hot and thirsty.

Out of the hot glare of the March sun, Fred Brompart sat up, sick and white, and witnessed the overthrow of his brother. Sarah had hastened away to the horse-tank for a billy of water.

"Come, Fred," I said, approaching him, "all the luck of the affair has been mine. Give me your hand in peace as soundly as you gave it me in war, and I promise we will not be long in forgetting the whole business."

"Get away, you boasting prig!" he retorted, rising shakily to his feet. "We held you too cheap, or it would have ended differently. I'll forget it when I have paid you back with interest, not before."

"Please yourself," I responded, with a shrug. "If you choose to be melodramatic on account of a blow or two exchanged in fair fight, that is your affair."

He went off without further speech, scarcely glancing at his brother, who by this time was beginning to show signs of returning animation. The blow he had received, though inducing complete paralysis for the moment, has no aftereffects, and in a few minutes Richard was able to rise to his feet. He did not look at me, nor did he speak, and I did not again lay myself open to a rebuff. Picking up his coat and vest, he departed in the direction of the house.

It was five years and over before I saw either of them again, and then it was to a dreadful purpose, as you shall hear.

Sarah, the billy in her hand, stood looking after him till he disappeared; then she turned her eyes on me and lifted the vessel to my lips.

"Drink, my hero," she said, smiling and breathless, page 232and yet with something sombre and untranslatable in her eyes. "Was any girl so unhappy as to be compelled to rejoice in the defeat of her brothers."

"The pity of it!" I agreed. "But could I remember they were your brothers when—when——"

"Drink," she interrupted, flushing. "May you win your heart's desire. You will. You must. How can she prevent you!"

Who knows the delight of quenching his thirst who has not drunk water from a billy? The cold, dewy feel of the vessel; the sparkle of the liquid on the bright metal; the curled, cold edge of the tin against your teeth; the satisfying sense that, be your thirst ever so deep, here is a draught that will suffice to allay it.

"That was good, Sarah," I said. "Now I must go and pack my things."

"Why?" she exclaimed, coming to a dead stop. "Where are you going?"

"I scarcely know," I replied. "But I can find a lodging at the Osprey till I have made up my mind what to do."

"But, Cedric, why should you go?"

"I must."

"For what reason? They are not likely to touch you again; and father will be very angry with them when he hears."

"It is not that, Sarah. I have never been afraid of your brothers, though I have borne much from them. Nor am I ashamed of what has just happened. But —well, do you not also feel that there is no alternative?"

"No," she said slowly; "I don't."

"Then you do not guess what is in my mind."

"Yes, I do," she said, averting her eyes. "Richard is mad. I don't want you to go."

page 233

"Nor do I desire to go; but, Sarah, there is nothing else to be done."

"Why?" she said again, rebelliously. "Do you think I am in love with you?"

"No, no," I cried aghast. "I am not such a vain fool. But——"

"Well, then," she said, with a sudden indescribable change in her manner, "you are wrong. I do love you."

I was stricken completely silent.

"Of course I love you," she went on, flushed but unfaltering. "How can I help it when I see the contrast between you and my brothers? I have never received kindness or consideration from any one but you. It is not your fault. I knew all along that it was your nature and no more; but my heart is not a stone. And now if you go I shall be wretched."

We had arrived beneath the shade of a pine near the back of the house, and here, by mutual consent, we stood still, out of sight and hearing of every one.

"I must go, Sarah," I repeated unhappily. "Don't you see that it is still more impossible that I should stay now?"

"Why is it? If you do not love me, and I know you do not, why should you not stay?"

But even in the confusion and embarrassment of my mind, I saw and pointed out the fallacy of her argument. "If I did love you, Sarah. that would be a reason for my staying."

"I know that you love Miss Wylde. I shall not try to displace her. Only, if you go, the days will be all dreary. Are you afraid of me?"

I looked into my heart and saw the answer written there plainly. "Not of what you may attempt, Sarah; but of what you may accomplish unwittingly," I replied. "Every man, I suppose, has reason to fear what is within him, and page 234I more than most men, for they say that my father before me was a traitor in love."

"I ask nothing of you: only that you will stay for a little while."

I know not how the discussion was ever brought to an end. Possibly some one appeared to interrupt it, or it may be that merely a sense of the long time we had spent over it brought it to a futile close. It left a feeling of dissatisfaction in both of us. Again and again we traversed the same ground, using the same vain arguments. I knew that there was but one course open to me, and that was to go. And, in the afternoon, I went.

Some tale of the morning's doings had evidently been told to Mrs. Brompart, for she refused to see me for the purpose of saying good-bye, and I had to leave under the ban of her displeasure. Janet, however, took on this occasion a stand different from her mother's. I found her at the piano. She wheeled round quickly and surveyed me from head to foot as she gave me her beringed white hand.

"You thrashed them both," she said.

"At all events they didn't beat me," I answered.

"You thrashed them," she repeated, "and both at once. I should have liked to see you do it. Good-bye."

Sarah stood waiting within the doorway of Mr. Brompart's work-room in the front of the house, as I went down the passage on my way out. Her eyes and her tear-stained face drew me in spite of myself, and I went to her with a wildly beating heart. Think ill of me if you must, reader, but not of her. She was no older than I. I should have had the strength to part from her with a hand-shake; I should have remembered Helenora's pure kisses, rare and starlike, and held my lips sacred.

How miserable I was as I went my way! What a traitorous wretch I seemed to my own heart! I had sworn page 235lifelong loyalty to one girl, and here, within a few months of losing her, I had exchanged passionate kisses with another. Helenora had sworn no oaths, yet I dare stake my life that no compassion might open a way to her dainty lips.

Never again, I told myself, should any girl get within the guard of my reason to make a traitor of my heart.