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The Land of The Lost

Chapter XVIII

page 157

Chapter XVIII

One afternoon, a few days later, Hugh lifted the latch of Doctor Hamilton's gate and found Esther busy among her flowers. Esther greeted her visitor with a fine blush which was reflected in Hugh's countenance, and though the meeting meant much to both of them, or perhaps because it meant much, they shook hands in silence.

"I know you have not forgotten me," the young man said, when he was master of the excitement that possessed him; "your flowers told me as much as that."

Esther tried to look puzzled, but with indifferent success. "The violets?" she asked innocently at length. "Oh yes, I remembered you asked me for them. My cousin thought it would be an act of kindness to send you some token of remembrance."

"Then it was Wilfrid who was responsible for the nosegay?" commented Hugh, with a shade of disappointment in his tones.

Esther caught at the christian name and wondered. "Would you like to see my cousin?" she asked.

"Yes," he answered, "presently—when you have answered my question."

Esther picked a few spent flowers from a rose bush. "Ask me no questions," she said, "and I will tell you no—fibs. I wonder what you thought of me?" she added, with sudden impatience.

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"I wish I dared tell you," he replied.

"Ah, then don't," said the girl slowly. "Shall I take you to my cousin?"

"I did not send you to anyone else when you came to me," remarked Hugh.

"I am not sending you away; I am asking if you would like to go of your own accord."

There was a short silence.

"Are you fond of flowers?" Esther asked. "Come, and I will show you my garden." She led him along the paths, pointing out the various plants and naming them rapidly, punctuating her remarks with shy silences, until they reached the bush-house.

"This is truly refreshing after the gumfield," said Hugh as they passed into the cool shadow of the passion vines. "You must give your garden a great deal of attention."

Contrasted with the thoughts and memories of their last meeting, both of them were conscious of an astonishing emptiness and strain in the conversation.

After moving round the house they returned to the doorway. Here, for some inexplicable reason, their eyes met, and they looked steadily at one another for the first time.

"Are you quite recovered now, Miss Hamilton?" Hugh asked.

"Quite," she replied, "but I shall never lose the memory of that terrible night; it lives with me like some impossible nightmare."

"Was it all terrible?" he asked. "How differently can the same facts be regarded by different minds!"

"I am thinking of that man," said Esther. "I did not know there could be such a difference in human nature; he did not seem to be human at all."

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"No," said Hugh, "I can understand how such an experience might shake your faith in humanity. That," he added, "was the only part of the night we did not share."

"Have you ever seen him since?" she asked.

"Not from that day to this, though I have heard he is on the field. I still hope to come across him."

"Why?"

He was silent awhile. They were moving along a narrow path under the shadow of cabbage trees and tree ferns towards a small gate that opened from the garden into the orchard.

"If you have not forgotten," he said at last, "neither have I. There are some cases where the law is powerless or resort to it impossible; this is one of them. Should a scoundrel like that go scot free?"

"What could be done to him?" the girl asked as she stopped to unlatch the gate.

"He could lose some more teeth, to begin with," said Hugh in lighter tones; "then I am not altogether pleased with his expression, and I think there is room for improvement there."

But Esther had become grave and anxious. "If it were the last favour I had to ask of you, Mr. Clifford," she said, "it would be that you leave that man alone and never interfere with him."

"I should have said nothing about it," said Hugh.

"I am glad you did, however, because I can now ask you to promise me."

"Of course, you have my promise," he replied. "I think these sort of accounts ought to be settled, but you shall command me."

"I suppose there are numbers of accounts that never get settled in this world," said Esther, "and after a little page 160one ceases to wish that they should be. I wonder if it is an admirable thing to be always of the same mind; to cherish our hatreds and loves unalterably, or to be always forgiving and forgetting."

"We are told to forgive our enemies, but there are no instructions about ceasing to love our friends."

"I was wondering," mused Esther, "whether it is contemptible in us to change our minds or whether it is only 'sweet reasonableness.' There does seem something great in lighting a fire in our hearts and never suffering it to die out. One would like to be like that in preference."

"We may make mistakes," suggested Hugh, "and is there to be no effort to retrieve them? At any rate, one cannot keep a fire going without fuel. Do you recollect saying to me that that man ought to be killed? It was true when you said it; it is none the less true now that a certain number of weeks have elapsed and given you time to forget. The fire has died out for want of something to feed on."

"I remember how you looked when you came back," Esther said. "There was something that made me just a little afraid of you, and that was chiefly why I spoke. You must recognise how unpleasant it would be for me were any part of my adventure made more public than it already is. I should like to forget it entirely."

"I am sorry that I also should have inspired you with fear," Hugh said.

Esther looked unhappy. "You are only pretending to misunderstand me," she said. "It was not for myself I feared, but—well, let us forget all about it and start our—friendship here."

"It is a lovely spot in which to make a beginning. For my part," he added presently, "I do not want to page 161forget anything, and this for me must always be chapter two."

"You must have thought me a very extraordinary creature," she said curiously, harking back to the topic she had herself forbidden.

"You were thrillingly interesting," he averred.

She laughed merrily, and it seemed that the restraint that had hitherto possessed her vanished with the laugh. "What a complete change I must have been for you!" she said mockingly.

"Yes," replied Hugh, "I have never been the same since. All the world has been differently coloured since then."

"But that is really surprising, you know," said Esther, with mock amazement. "You really ought to communicate with a doctor in a case of such seriousness."

"Doctor Hamilton, for instance," the young man suggested daringly.

"You ought to take something for it," said Esther, looking innocently up into the heavily laden peach tree beneath which they stood, "and I will give you a kitful when you go away," she added.

"A kitful of what?" he asked.

"Peaches," she said, opening her eyes; "of what else are we talking?"

"I am sure I don't know," said Hugh. "It is only my thoughts I am certain about, and it is not conventional to speak one's thoughts."

"How curious!" she said lightly. "Haven't I heard or read somewhere of a club where all the members are sworn to speak what is in their thoughts regardless of consequences? What a barbarous idea!"

"It could never come to anything," Hugh thought; "in the end, if not in the beginning, it would resolve page 162itself into the subtlest form of flattery. It is only at some great crisis in life that we take off the mask, and we are generally in pain while it is off, and get it on again as rapidly as possible."

Esther looked at him musingly. "That explains everything," she said, "except why we should be ashamed of ourselves afterwards."

"I suppose convention is a sort of mental clothing," he said; "it has its fashions, like our coats, and is continually on the change, but we always wear it in some form or other. It is only under the influence of strong emotions that we throw it aside and become completely natural."

"My mind is easier now," Esther declared. "If you can regard my extravagances as wholly natural, we should have no difficulty in forgetting them."

"None," he said, "unless it might be a desire not to forget."

They had now completed the circuit of the orchard and again approached the gate into the garden. A figure crossing the other end of the path attracted Esther's attention, and she paused with her hand on the latch.

"Do you know Mr. Roller?" she asked in a low voice.

"By sight, not otherwise."

"Would you like me to introduce you to him?" she asked hesitatingly.

"I leave it to you," he replied. "I am not an ambitious man."

"What do you mean by that?" she asked in the same low, reflective tone as they moved down the path.

"I suppose I meant to be funny," he replied, with compunction, "but I believe I was merely rude. For-page 163give me if it seemed so to you. Is he—is he a friend of yours?"

It was a long while before she answered, and the reply when it came was produced with difficulty. "We are engaged to be married," she said.

"I had heard that," Hugh said presently. "I did not know whether it were true or not; so many things you hear are not true—or had better not have been." The last words appeared to be wrung from him, and he bit them off sharply and concluded almost inaudibly.

Esther chose not to hear, and they emerged from the path on to the walk in front of the verandah. Roller, who was on the point of quitting the garden, saw them and turned back, Esther standing still until he came up. "I have been looking all over the place for you, Esther," said the storekeeper.

"Let me introduce you to Mr. Clifford," was Esther's reply. "Mr. Roller, Mr. Clifford."

"How do you do, Mr. Clifford?" said Roller affably.

Clifford raised his hat, and there was a short pause.

"Mr. Clifford is the gentleman who assisted me so generously at the time of my accident," Esther explained.

"Oh, indeed," said Roller, scanning Clifford slowly from head to foot. "You are gum-digging out there, I believe, Clifford?"

Hugh nodded a careless assent, and snapping off a rosebud, drew the stalk with elaborate care through his buttonhole, then he turned to Esther.

"Is your cousin to be seen now, Miss Hamilton?" he inquired.

"Yes," she said. "Shall I tell him you are here—or will you come in with me now?" There was even an exaggerated deference in her tones.

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"I will go with you," he replied in a manner that was purposely meant to imply that he would follow her to the end of the earth.

Roller whistled and strolled a few yards away from the verandah, while Esther led her visitor into the house.

"There is some mystery about this," Esther said. "May we hope some day to be enlightened as to its meaning?"

"It is rather a prosaic mystery," said Hugh uneasily, "and it is remarkable you haven't guessed the secret. I will tell Wilfrid to communicate the facts to you."

Esther led him through the house to a side verandah where Wilfrid was sitting. The latter, on seeing them approach, threw away the paper he had been reading, and rising hurriedly to his feet, came forward with both hands extended.

"Well, Hugh, old fellow, here you are," Esther heard him say as she stepped down off the verandah and made her way round to the front of the house.

Roller was waiting for her on the steps and looked impatient. "I came to see if you would come for a ride, Esther," he began.

"I can't to-day," she replied; "Mr. Clifford will be here to dinner."

"Clifford!" he said, with thinly veiled contempt. "What, that gum-digger fellow?"

"Yes," she said, "that gum-digger fellow."

"Oh, well," said Roller in a huff, "if you prefer his company to mine——"

"It is not what I might prefer, Albert," explained Esther, "it is a matter of hospitality. I could not leave them all to the mercy of the girl."

"Well," he said, "come round to the bush-house, I want to talk to you."

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Esther, after a momentary hesitation moved in the direction indicated, and they seated themselves together on a rustic seat among the ferns.

"I can't stay very long," Esther said, "because Maria is no good when she is left to herself. She seizes every moment I am away to try on my clothes in front of the looking-glass."

"Oh, well, never mind her, I want to have a talk with you. Don't you think it's about time we were getting married?" he asked abruptly.

"Married?" said Esther slowly.

Roller laughed, but a little uneasily. "The idea seems to be a new one to you," he said presently.

"No, no," she said, "only——" and then she fell silent.

"Only what?" he asked.

"I did not think of getting married quite just yet."

"Well, not to-day or to-morrow or the next day, but reasonably soon. Why not next month?"

"Next month?" she repeated.

"I do not know why you should repeat my words like that," he said crossly. "I suppose we are to be married some time."

"I do not want to get married quite just yet," Esther said again.

"So you told me before, but now I want to know what 'quite just yet' means—if it has any meaning."

"I should like a little more time," she said, with a momentary tremble in her voice. "I should like to be certain of myself."

He was silent a long while. "Certain of yourself," he said at length. "Is that what you said? But surely you were certain of yourself when you told me six months ago that you would marry me?"

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Esther was silent.

"Because if you were not your conduct was outrageous."

"What was the date you wished to fix?" Esther asked when this remark had sunk in.

"Certainly not later than the end of March," he replied.

"Well," she said, after a pause of reflection, "I will let you know in a fortnight's time—a fortnight from to-day," and she rose to her feet.

"Stay a moment," said Roller. "Do I understand you to say that you will fix the date in a fortnight's time?"

Esther nodded assent without looking at him. "I will give you my answer then," she said.

He did not seem entirely satisfied, and there was a look of reflection on his face as he followed her into the open air and to the door of the house.

"Will you come back to dinner?" she turned to ask as she left him.

He made a motion of assent, and quitting the garden, crossed the road to the store. Though he was barely conscious of it, the last few minutes had implanted in his mind a seed of doubt, which was destined before many days to expand and darken his life with its growth.