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The Pamphlet Collection of Sir Robert Stout: Volume 76

The Faculties

The Faculties.

Arts Notes.

Already the students have begun to count time backwards from the fateful ending of the session, and the November exams, almost seem to reveal themselves as a bright spot seen through the enveloping vapour of beclouded brains of those over-eager to disport themselves in the flowing robes and the sunshine which surrounds the full-blown graduate, and should we be so happy as to find that no Mataura tragedy occurs to darken our New Year, we feel sure that this year's work will prove a credit to the Faculty.

With reference to the coming exams., the much-discussed topic of an Examination Hall is now disturbing the Fives Court orator, while we find that no less than a special column of this number has been devoted to the venerable opinion of one who sat in Greek and Anglo-Saxon last year. However exaggerated some of the current reports may be, there is no doubt that the Machine Hall of the Agricultural Buildings is eminently unsuitable for examination purposes. No doubt the Boating Carnival was the cause of our having to put up with the swaying of a make-shift floor when anyone stirred, the throbbing of the engine in the corner, the hail which beat on the unlined roof, and the page 92 bad light which came through it, to say nothing of the draughts which came from everywhere; but no allowance is made in consideration of such details for a possible lowering in the standard of the work handed in, and we hope that this year we shall be more fortunate in our surroundings. The inconvenience that some students suffer at the Terms Exam, through having to proceed with a paper for 15 or 20 minutes, while another class in the room at the same time are having their questions read out, could no doubt be easily avoided by rearrangement of the time-table.

During the past month Dr Shand has been exercising the genial side of his generous nature in entertaining the students at his house, and some students have taken a revived interest in Physics-not to improve their position in the class, for that would only tend to rob them of the delights they hope to share again—another year in the same class. Let us hope such a base desire shall not be gratified.

At the last meeting of the Debating Society, Dr Benham, during the course of a short address, referred to the absence of illustrative apparatus and material in all the classes at the University which are not purely scientific. There would no doubt be some difficulty in carrying out the plan as suggested by the Doctor in all its fulness, suck as the collection of ancient costumes, &c., but there is no reason why we should be without many of the little things we do not now possess. A science like mathematics could be simplified in many cases, and in such a branch as solid geometry models are almost a necessity. When the present students become professors there will be a change.

A certain student of books on this side of the College has been greatly puzzled to understand why Noah took fish into the Ark with him. Perhaps some student of fish in the Biological School could supply the desired information. It is a somewhat rare occurrence to find the Professor of Classics grow impatient when questions are answered in detail, but the student was presuming too far, who, when asked what some Gallic tribe—extinct long ago—lived upon, began "Pectore vivunt——" The Prof, quickly saw that if he began at the milk stage, long before he got to solid beef (pecore), 'Arris' bell would be going downstairs, and cut matters short.

Our Review manager has distinguished himself this month in a fierce encounter with a butcher's cart. While scorching on his cycle to an exam., he was improving the shining hour by having a last look at cert question, and in turning a corner collided with a hostile meat-van. When the brief contest finished, honours were easy.

Medical Notes.

Rumour has it that on the completion of the new wards the present Children's Ward will be converted into a Students' Room. We hope so; page 93 so do the lady meds. At present they have to use the Staff Room wherein to stow their impedimenta, and this has its drawbacks. For instance, on one occasion a bashful lady med waited for an hour whilst a staff meeting was being held before she could obtain her hat. The ladies hope the present Students' Room will in the near future be handed over to them.

There is one innovation in the dress of the lady meds. that simply shrieks for comment. We refer to the new style of pocket—a kind of tool-carrier and hand-warmer combined. The average antiquated female of, say, five years ago was quite content with a single pocket, situated to the right and rear, and well masked by the flowing folds of the dress, hut the present lady med.—"the victim of higher education"—goes in for two capacious receptacles, situated as nearly as possible in the same geographical position as those of the male. To increase the effect and to aggravate the nuisance the edges of these pockets are adorned with large dinner-plate buttons. No doubt these are matters that concern the ladies most, but the long-suffering mere man, deprived of his rights and even of his pockets, is compelled to turn at last and give one last howl of protest before being driven completely from the social stage. One enterprising lady has outstripped her fellows in ingenuity and inventive genius by introducing a kind of marsupial pouch made of chamois leather, in which coster-like she carries her belongings. Now, we recognise that the male students and the patients especially are always delighted and charmed by the graceful appearance and gentle ministrations of the lady meds. in the ward; but we must confess that the sight of some of these ladies going about with their arms up to their elbows in their pockets, as if in a chronic state of tiredness, is enough to turn these feelings of admiration into feelings of vexation and scorn.

The thanks of the students in general and of the ladies in particular are due to their genial benefactor for his untiring efforts in improving the surroundings and adjuncts of the University. Naturally, he has a great desire for retirement, and he has only been drawn from his seclusion by the wistful pleadings and suggestions of the ladies. His zeal and success have been such that he is looked upon by all as a conspicuous authority on architecture and public works, and all are breathlessly looking forward to the time when the mantle of the Hon. Hall-Jones shall descend upon him. Great as has been his work, we hope he will go on to greater, and that once having put his hand to the plough he will not turn back. There are still considerable improvements to be made, and in our humble and halting way we would like to make a few suggestions to this blossoming disciple of Sir Christopher Wren. In the first place, we would suggest that an ornamental portico be erected, under whose fluted column strains of sweet music might be sawn off by the German Band to harmonise with the tender nothings of page 94 the Romeos and Juliets from Jefferson's Matrimonial [unclear: Burea] Couches and lounges might be provided, on which the [unclear: wear] toilers from the Dissecting Room, clad in apron and [unclear: hig] flavour, might recline and lose some of their high tone in the [unclear: blending] of coffee and liqueurs from the licensed booth, presided over by [unclear: fa] Hebes from the Medical School. The little plot of ground that is [unclear: a] present an unsightly wilderness might be cultivated by the sweat [unclear: o] Harris' brow, and become converted into a paradise of playing [unclear: four] tains and waving palms, under whose shade the weary senior, fearful [unclear: o] plucking, might rest from his labours, lulled to sleep by the murmur [unclear: o] the Leith, and the gliding forms of the sylph-like lady meds.