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The Spike: or, Victoria College Review, June 1904

Answers to Correspondents

page 65

Answers to Correspondents.

Sketch of men standing in a row

"Shall quips and sentences and these paper bullets of the brain
Awe a man from the career of his humour?"

—Much Ado About Nothing

G. P—o—se. We are compelled, owing to jack of space, to refuse publication to your new song "Wearing of the Green." We have sent on the manuscript to the St. Patrick's Day Celebration Committee.

Secretary, A—r—gi Hockey Club. Please don't mention it. You are quite welcome to any members of the College Club who will desert. Hope your latest acquisition will do more credit to the Aorangi Hockey Club than she does to ours.

W. G—il—s. We must gently but firmly decline to publish the sporting odds on our Football Matches. Our columns are closed to all betting notices whatsoever. You should try the "Referee" or "Bulletin."

A. H. J—nst—e. (1) No good purpose could be served by inserting your letter on "College Finance"—the money market is close enough at present. Your suggestion that no Treasurer should be appointed unless his ancestral home is north of the Cheviot Hills deserves no consideration.

(2) Your "Twenty-nine Roads though the V.C.A.A. club's Constitution" has been referred to our legal adviser.

G. F. D—x—n. Your remarks on Railway Department dating-stamps and train tickets are too profane for publication. Just water them down and put in a little detail.

P. W. R—ts—n. Our Scientific Editor advises that your contribution "New Light on Candlegrease, etc.; a Prose Study, based on Reflections at Dunedin, Easter, 1904" deals too much with et cetera and too little with candlegrease. If you reduce it to sonnet form we will publish it next number page 66 G. T—g—d. Your arguments is apparently "sound." We state your proposition for the benefit of our readers. "If your zeal for Prohibition may be represented by 99 and your thirst while in Newtonw Licensing District by 100, the net amonnt of satisfaction you get by visiting the kilbirnie Hotel is 1 (or as the case may be); whereas, had you, under the Referendum System, a direct and effective vote on the question your net satisfaction will be 0." The validity of the conclusion, says our Logic Expert, seems to depend more upon the accidentia than upon the propria.

F. S—th. Our legal adviser is of opinion that the words "frumious bandersnatch" are actionable as converying a direct charge of incompetence in office. The leading case is Tweedledum v Tweedledgee, C.D.A.W.T.T.L, at page 19+. See also judgment of Lord Chief Justice Jabberwauk, idem.

"Rusticus." We are sorry we cannot publish your verse, the more so from the quantity of lamplight the composing has evidently consumed. That "Beppo" lute has a tendency to tinkle in the hands of auy but its master, and we do not think your fingers have quite found the strings.

K. McK—z—e. Your story too closely resembles that of Nicodemus Dumps to allow publication. Strike out in a new line—something cheerful.

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