F. P. K-l-y. We think your friend is in error. We hold with you that the remark, "It is not a thing to be deplored if the dregs of humanity do fall to the bottom of the ladder of life." is original. We are not sure as to the phrase 'staked on the pale of public ostracism.'

F. A. d-l- M-r-. We fear from the description of your symptions, a drowsy feeling at debates and lectures, that you have an attack of that dread disease, sleeping sickness, upon you. We should advise you to give up alcohol and tobacco, and to take a little vigorous exercise on Saturday afternoons.

H. B-k-s. The spirit of your communication is not commendable You seem to glory in the fact that your predictions as to the fortunes of V.C. Football Club in the senior championship are being justified. We recommend a course in Ethics.

W. G-l-l-s. You object to the V.C. debates adjourning at 9.30, and seek a remedy. We advise the election of a new licensing committee.

A. P-t-r-n. You should address your letter to the "Times" or "Post." We have neither space nor time to enter into the pros and cons of a universal twopenny tram fare, though we agree with you that fourpence per evening would prove rather expensive.

W. P-r-y. Your plea for the retention of the judicial functions of the House of Lords is not based on any sound principles of argument, but is rather suggestive of vivid recollections of a thirsty day at Island Bay and the result of the Newtown licensing appeal.

B. W. M- -l-r. We are loth to believe that one of our most learned professors would urge a colleague to toss to see who should pay for the tram fare, especially after hearing the Mayoral remarks on gambling. We feel sure that had you examined the coin, you would have found it double-headed. We should advise you to avoid jumping to conclusions in this manner.

C. B. C-l-s. Your remarks on the ancient and undoubted powers of the Clerk of the House as to the removal of strangers are indisputable in theory. We think, however, that some limit should be placed on the extent of his peregrinations in the execution of his duty.

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B. C. S-h. We regret we are unable to print at length your eloquent plea on behalf of the noble game of hockey. We fear that we should perhaps alienate the support of our football-playing friends should we agree that "football requires in its votary an irreducible minimum of brute strength," nor would the clerks in the College feel complimented by this assertion, "Hockey requiring little muscle and less build is ideally adapted to the large class of clerical workers."

Resident of Kelburne. A special room is being made in the new building for enclosing such chemists and public nuisances as the one who recently incapacitated a gang of workmen in the Town Hall by letting loose some powerful fumes.

Failure. Your contribution held over through fack of space. May insert in next issue.

Exchanges.

We beg to acknowledge the following Magazines; Canterbury College Review, Christchurch Boys' High School Magaziue, Napier Girls' High School Magazine, Otago University Review, The Nelsonian.

L'Envoi.

We ain't no living's Lyceum,
An' we've got no kit or paint;
But we tries ter switch the limelight
On the 'ero an' the saint;
On shy deservin' critters
Wot 'ang back nigh the wall:
An' on them coves as poses
For wot they ain't at all.

We don't bill mellerdramer,
An' tragedy ain't our line,
But we nobs the run of fellers
Wot fice the rain an' shine.
If yer thinks as 'ow they're wasters
Yer can 'oot 'em orf the boards,
But if their parts did middlin',
The real gent, 'e applauds.

page 68

P—r—f—s—r K—r—k. (1) We heartily endorse your suggestion to keep a tortoise-farm with a view of supplying students with hot soup o' nights. Yes, rice is the best porridge for them. Set on a stove and stir gently.

(2) We are now in a position to offer you 10/, by instalments, for a certain giddy young frog done in oils, being convinced it is the original who would a-wooing go.