Hard Lines.

We sympathise with the V.U.C. man who rang for a taxi to go to a party from a certain Auckland hotel at Tournament time, and was landed at his destination—just across the road.

Versatile.

Eric Winkel, who incidentally came down from Auckland to be capped, was in rather a quandary during Tournament. His studies commenced at Otago University, he completed his Bachelor of Laws degree here at Victoria, and is now at Auckland University College. He solved the problem by performing all the hakas with the exception of Canterbury's. Yes, he Was hoarse, and long before Wednesday.

The Eternal Triangle.

With Auckland University College as the apex, the Station and Cargen Hotels marked the base of a triangle that was constantly being completed with increasing difficulty during the Tournament. As time wore on completion of the triangle degenerated into syncopation—uneven movement from bar to bar.

At the Capping Ceremony.

As usual, when the graduates were filing across the stage to receive their degrees, interjections from the undergraduates were fired at the heroes and heroines of the evening. We give the prize to the remark hurled at Julia Dunn as she went up on her own to receive her Master of Laws: "Alone she 'done' it."

Blinded with Science.

Auckland University College decided that this year all complimentary Tournament Ball tickets must be signed for—all others to pay. And did it work? We understand that of the six hundred present one person paid. His money was returned with apologies when it was discovered that he was "E—." E— had returned to Wellington the night before the Ball.

Even Homer Nods.

A Student piloting a certain professor to his seat in the Stalls at the Extravaganza was halted in his tracks by a benevolent pat on the shoulder, and was startled to hear the following words issue from the lips of the grave and reverend seigneur: "Not too far up, my boy, not too far up. I've got my gardening clothes on"

No Sympathy.

This one was told at the Cricket Club Smoke Concert, and will appeal to cricketers. The scene is at a small village cricket match.

Batsman (who has just been given out first ball leg before wicket).: "'Ow the blazes am I out, Umpire ?"

Old Scotch Umpire (shortly): "For the whole —— afternoon."