Cricket Club's Holiday Tour.

Hat Trick to Mr. Willis.

The holiday tour of the Cricket Club to Palmerston, Wanganui, Hawera and Marton was noteworthy in that, for the first time in the history of this tour, unatcurs and professionals fact on an equal footing. This highly desirable state of affairs was foreshadowed by the appointment of the Kelburn pro., Paetz, as captain. The team, which was skilfully changed round to suit the state of the wicket in each game, comprised the following:—Partz (captain), Mr. Blandford, Clouston, Edaley, Mr. [unclear: Mr. fac] Mr. Larkin, Ryan, [unclear: Staen. Wnas] Mr. Wild, and Mr. Wiren, Mr. willis accompained the team as [unclear: seatettan-barrer].

The tour diffcully began on Monday, 24th December, at 7 p.m. when the bus, chartered primarily to carry Mr. Blandford and his three trunks his [unclear: magnit] cricket bag, and his gramophone and [unclear: sreularily] the rest of the team, [unclear: ratted] ominously into position beside the Telephone Exchange, where the proprietor, standing beaning with a glass in one hand and a bottle in the other, invited all the puppies to drink (The reporter here pauses to rinse his investigation by the Executive into the finances of the Cricket Club. How much of its grant went this year in paying for Mr. Blandford's cricket bag?)

The team's hotel at Palmerston lost most of its holiday patrons on the evening that Mr. Blandford arrived with his gramophone Even at one o'clock on Christmas morning Schubert's immortal love-song, "The Man On the Flying Trapeze," echoed through the passages of Tucker's. This sweet refrain became the National Anthem of the team, and every twon through which the bus passed was treated to a lengthy rendering—we trust to the edification of the local yokels.

Some sterling performances were registered on the trip. At Palmerston Mr. Blandford signalled for a beer for every four runs he made—though in fairness to the batsman it must be said that four runs represented half an hour's work. Mr. Fay "castled" the opposition hip and thigh at Wanganui where Edgley was hooted for bodyline, and a remark was even overheard questioning the validity of his parentage. At Hawera, Mr. Willis, with the first three Taranaki wickets and the bat-trick, and Clouston, who had donned the pads and gloves, gave our regular keeper a vivid portrayal of his performances, both vocal and acrobatic. By the time we reached Marton, Mr. Larkin appeared to be entirely muscle-bound, and Edgley, who had awakened us at daybreak of 1935 got up the pitch to deliver the ball with a rolling action instead of his customary pounding. Mention must be made of Patsy Larkin's performance with the bat. His figures read: Innings 4, times not out 3, highest score 1, total runs 1, average 1.

All things considered, Mr. Wild and Mr. Willis probably recorded the outstanding achievement on the social side on New Year's Eve, when, aided by several pints of Warm-me-tum, they painted crimson the walls of an eminently respectable Wanganui household and blotted the escutcheon of a well-known Wellington family. Mr. Blandford lacked no admirer where'er he went, and the antics of Clouston and Stace. Mr. Fay's harlequin cap caught the ladies' attention, his Irish stories caught everyone's attention, and he himself nearly caught his death of cold in his mighty excursions "down the sink." Wicks, the Manager, was always bandy at three o'clock in the morning to put some heavy-headed revefler safely to bed and give the team its morning dose of "Epsoms" and also its nightcap.

What about the cricket, you ask? Well, we had one loss, two draws, and one game (fortunately) was washed out by rain. Our record was a mixture of good and bad, and we leave it to our readers to say just how good and just how bad. By the way, next Christmas the Team must have more support from 'Varsity men—we had to rope in three outsiders this year.

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