Mr. Birks' Night Out.

The proceedings of the Haeremai Club at their annual meeting could aptly be described as a "howling social success." Mr. Birks was in the chair, and Mr. Sainsbury conducted the secretarial side of the meeting.

An eloquent appeal was launched to the effect that members should make themselves "au fait" with the hakas in view of the forthcoming tournament at Easter. The topic of hakas seemed to be all-important, since at the slightest provocation the chairman would burst forth into ecstatic exclamations about them.

Birks and Beer.

Under this rather delectable caption, the eternal question of beer was belched forth by several members, but no satisfactory answer seemed to be given to the question. "Where did the beer go during the capping procession last year?"

Amidst the ensuing chaotic confusion, the balance sheet and statement of accounts were read. The Chairman stated that "the financial position of the club was strong" — whatever that may mean. During the detailed account of the Balance Sheet the word "halfpenny" seemed to occur with monotonous regularity. We are not certain whether this is indicative of a strong financial position.

Election of Officers.

This monotonous task was ably controlled by the Chairman, who once again, after a short discussion on hakas and the relative merits of beer and other liquids, declared Professor Murphy re-elected President of the Club, opposed only by Mr. Brooks and Miss Irvine, both of whom, we understand, were unwilling to accept office. Following the election of president, the meeting developed into a heaving mass of frantic humanity. After the chairman had been consistently heckled, a vote of no confidence in the chair unsuccessfully attempted, and members had aired their views, consisting of sheer claptrap and balderdash, the remaining officers for the year were elected.

In fairness to this club, we must say that it deserves the support of more members of V.U.C. The ideals, aims and objects are the dissemination of goodwill and good fellowship, and in this respect the club is somewhat akin to the well-known Smith Family, the only difference being apparently, that the Haeremai Club is in such a "strong financial position" that it is unnecessary for it to employ such people as Mr. T. C. A. Hislop to collect donations.

Mr. Cliff Camp has been appointed Chief Sampler to the N.Z. Reserve Tank.