Footballers Foot The Fantastic.

Last Saturday week the footballers, the harriers, the basketballers and other bits of things held the first Gym. dance of the year—dance as distinct from a hop. It was a great success. "Smad" has ecstatic memories of a super-fast floor, his partner's blue eyes, and an excellent orchestra playing the "Blue Danube" as a real waltz.

The walls were tastefully decorated with soap, lingerie, and petrol advertisements, while the hoary (haw! haw!) rafters were disguised by green and gold streamers. In fact the old place could hardly be recognised.

Certainly the highlight of the evening was the presentation of some of the blues.

Professor B. E. Murphy presented the football blues. It was recollected (with no doubt whatsoever) that the worthy professor had not honoured the building with his presence since the year of grace 1929, so you can see how really important the occasion was.

"Smad" and his blue-eyed partner returned from a journey (on which they had seen the football team in packed formation about an oblate object which, however, did not on this occasion, contain air) to see Mr. Roy Jack and his partner in a beatific pose, and later learned that even thus he was winning the statue dance.

At a later stage in the festivities paper hats and confetti and streamers and bits of things were distributed, so we had lots of fun.

By and large, it was a good show, and, we hope, presages some more bright evenings for the coming winter.