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Saroya Beans a Dramatic Dialogue

Where are you from, He Said.

From Norway, I said.

There was a pause.

Oh, he said.

I counted three. A full stop,

I said, only this time not aloud.

That's where the sardines come from, he said.

No, I said, the sardines come out of the water nearby.

Oh, he said.

Moreover, I said, they do not submit voluntarily. A fisherman, to be tolerably successful with these somewhat elusive beasts must exercise a considerable amount of ingenuity.

Where did you say you came from, he said.

You heard me, I said. Nevertheless I feel in duty bound to add that I hold a Diploma for Anthropological Research from the University of Wisconsin, which University it would be unmodest for me to deny uses the English language officially in its courses.

There was another pause. Maybe he isn't going to say any more, I said to myself.

He had stopped digging now, and so had I. In face of his example it would have been rude, I thought, to go on.

I peered over the fence. I could see him poking about among the underclothes on the other side of the hedge. His hair was close-cropped, with bristles like you sometimes find on a coconut that hasn't been properly husked. Maybe, I said to myself, I should cut my lawn. And then again, maybe not. Against the shirts and napkins and other objects which my natural modesty forbade me to scrutinise too closely he looked, I thought, a little grubby. The clothes themselves were very white. They lent a homely touch to the yard which aroused in me a feeling of comradeship for my neighbour. I almost regretted that, had the opportunity arisen, I might have been a little hasty.

This soil, he said suddenly, is pretty poor stuff.

I suppose that depends, I said, on what you want it for.

Sure, he said.

I intend to use mine, I said, for carrots. And also for hortensias. I have always had a predilection for the hortensias, even though I understand that no part of it is edible. Perhaps you know, I said.

No, he said. Besides, he said, you have come to the wrong suburb.

Why, I said.

Hortensias, he said, do not thrive in this suburb at all.

That is immaterial, I said. I shall grow carrots. I have little or no objection to growing carrots.

You forget, he said, that it is not you who grows carrots. It is the soil in this district that objects to growing carrots. This soil, as I have already indicated, is pretty poor stuff.

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Then, I said, I shall grow potatoes. I am told that potatoes grow best where the soil is worst. Perhaps you know, I said.

No, he said.

I shall try, I said.

I wouldn't bother, he said.

Why, I said.

I have already tried, he said.

Well, I said.

Well, he said, my success was what you might call relative.

As for instance, I said.

Some, he said, and I sensed the peculiar nostalgic regret in his voice as he spoke; some, he said, were no bigger'n cherries, and some were no bigger'n peas. And some, with real emphasis this, some were very small indeed . . . .

There was a pause.

There is something worrying me, I said.

Yes, he said.

Will you tell me, I said, if this is so, why in thunder you have been digging your yard for two hours past.

That's easy, he said. I have a small son. Soon there will be a big war over here. I am digging a trench which will shortly be occupied by an advance post for reconnaissance purposes against the enemy. Would you care to come over.

Sure, I said.

You have forgotten something, he said.

What, I said.

Your spade, he said.

A.V.