Salient Notes

Hi turds. This is yours truly bashing out yet another edition of the much revered and occasionally read Salient Notes. Well by the time you're reading this on Monday morning in the large rubbish dump on the ground floor of the Union they affectionately call the cafe, all the Salient downtrods will be sound asleep after another episode of lashing themselves with rolled up copies of Socialist Action and anything else they can find buried in the rubbish bins of the office.

Well who are they I hear you cry. . . these sterling few? Leading them into battle is Simon Wilson, that well known burned out art critic and one time follower of Kierkegarde (the baby crusher). Vice Chairman Peter "I've never stepped into a river twice" Beach and Lorraine Robinson (who keeps coming in here to do work for some strange reason) prepare the masses ideologically for the coming tasks.

Jonathan Scott (who claims he's never stepped into a river once) and David Murray provide the back row collective in the philosophy department and Chris Norman and Doug Thompson labour quietly and steadily thinking nothing of carnal pleasures or going on strike or anything like that.

People who have never stepped into a river once include Debbie Finberg, Cathy Randall, Helen Aikman and Margot Mac Gillivray, each of whom are the cogs in the wheels of history although we haven't told them yet.

For those of you that have read this far in the vain hope of finding your name I have to inform you that to talk about stepping rivers is a fallacy in itself as (in fact) reality does not exist at all. So all those things that you students go to for one hour in fact do not constitute reality. But then you all know that.

In the non-real arts department this week are John Bailey, Andrew Dungan and John McDavitt. In the non-real other-important-bits category fall Marie Rodgers, Rire Scotney, Lamorna Rogers and Stephen Benbrook (ace Pentax shot). Don Wright (ex-Waikato layout shark) really helped as far as anything is real.

Salient is edited by a non-descript Cret-in who can be identified by the Union Jack he carries and the slogan "Simon Wilson" tatooed on his forehead. It's printed by the toilers at Wanganui Newspapers, Drews Ave. Wanganui and is notionally published by VUWSA. We are still accepting donations for a new IBM typesetter and the send-Doug Thompson-back-to-Canada-fund. (Surprise me Doug and write a witty comment on the end of this — Author)