Flourish of Trumpets and Roll of Drums!

Enter Omay-Zingrab. He is a go-getter and as such will be in morning dress (Perhaps with Eastern pants) with a bowler hat and cigar. He is horrified at what he finds.

Omay

(Sternly) What are you two doing?

Mess-Tin

(nervously) Nothing! Omay-Zingrab

Omay

Nothing?

Spreadwell

Nothing yet.

Omay

(Angrily) That's the trouble with the Passionalist party they don't know how to make the most of their opportunities. I'm going to change all that. From this day forward we cease to be Passionalists and become (raising hand in Fascist salute) Fascionalists.

All

(raising hand in salute) Fascionalists.

Omay

(addressing women) Woman's place is in the home. Go to!

(Two Women detach themselves from crowd and advance sinuously upon Omay.)

1st Woman

Oh!. Ossie -

Omay

(indignantly) What do you mean - Ossie?

1st Woman

That's what they call you, don't they? Its short for Oswaldtanistle!!

(Omay breaks away and comes down stage - crafty smile appears on his face.)

Omay

(Aside) But wait - we may have use for these wencaes

(Omay goes back to women and is now affable)

Omay

Gather round girls, I have a little proposition to make to you.

Girls

All of us?

Omay

I'm talking politics

Girls

(sinking back in disappointment) Oh!

Omay

This country needs a new leader, and we have the very man - Adam Baba.

All Three

(saluting) Adam Baba.

Omay

Past governments have not realised the importance of the ladies; in Adam Baba we have a ladies man of the first water. No garden party is complete without him - he has become the hero of the Women's division - for months your country sisters have yielded to the impassioned pleadings of this Don Juan, this Cassanova, this Clark Gable of the cow cockies. Isn't he the man for you too?

page 4 Girls

And what a man.

Spreadwell

Do you know what he proposes to do?

Girls

No !

Spreadwell

He's going to take everything off women, including their wages tax.

(Cooing "Oohs" from the Girls)

Mess-Tin

Do you need your vices guaranteed?

Girls

No - we believe in living dangerously.

Omay

That's the spirit, girls, is Adam Baba your man?

Girls

You're telling us !

Omay

Right, you must form a ladies Auxiliary and elect your President right away. Your entrance fees are payable immediately. Away, and spread the news of the great Fascionalist revival meeting to be held here this evening.

(Exit Women - gaily)

(Omay, Spreadwell & Mess-Tin come together rubbing their hands with sinister laughter.)

Mess-Tin

We have the women - and I'm the words of our leader.

(Salute) where Eve is, there will Adam be also.

Omay

My dreams come true - my life's ambition - Attorney General!

Mess-Tin

And me-a judge!

Spreadwell

Oh you think so Mess-tin? There will be only one political appointment to the bench and that's going to be me.

Mess-Tin

I am a K. C., Mr. Spreadwell

Omay

Allah il Allah! We've forgotten one thing.

(Paces thoughtfully across stage.)

Both

What's that?

Omay

(Despairingly) We have nothing to tell the people.

Mess-Tin

I hadn't thought of that.

Spreadwell

We are undone!!!!!!

Omar

I have it

Both

Have what?

Omar

The solution

Both

Yes! Yes?

Omay

We can't gain the support of the people with the Fascionalist policy, but we can fool them some other way.

Both

Yes! Yes!

Omay

(in voice of triumph) They formed Unions, we'll form leagues.

page 5

(Song "Let's form a league")

Spreadwell

We've got one or two old Leagues already - the Gravy league.....

Mess-Tin

And Bill Jerry's Offence League.

Omay

And the nice Smellfare League

Spreadwell

But how do we form some more?

Omay

Since we can't use the Radio, we must use the Press - every one believes what appears in the newspapers.

Mess-Tin

Lot's start with a fleedom league

Spreadwell

What mug can we get to lead it?

Omay

Oh, Professor Growlgie from the Queen City will do that, he only gets 8 or 9 hundred a year as a University Professor.

Spreadwell

Oh, he shouldn't be hard to get.

Mess-Tin

And as a K. C. I must insist on a Constitutional League.

Spreadwell

We must be careful not to model them on the League of Nations - dammit, sir, half the blighters there are foreigners.

Mess-Tin

And a purity league

Omar

And a health League

Spreadwell

And a ship on Mount Victoria League

Mess-Tin

And a Cook Strait Swimmers League

Omar

And a keep our Pine Trees League

Spreadwell

And a drunken drivers league

Mess-Tin

And a keep to the white line league

Omar

And a 2ZB suppression league

Spreadwell

And a keep the party clean league

Mess-Tin

And a populate Somes Island League

Omar

Well there's a few to start with, we'll get plenty more.

Mess-Tin

(Jokingly) yes, 57 varieties!

Spreadwell

66 different sizes.

Omar

(In triumph) I have it - what a catch cry..........

"Adam Baba And The Forty Leagues."